Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

is it worth trying to clarify "unreasonable behaviour" in list of reasons?

6 replies

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 07/05/2021 10:12

H's solicitor has sent me a letter setting out his reasons why he wants a divorce based on unreasonable behaviour - I agree that the things he's said happened/didn't happen, but he's ignored that there were very good reasons why (for eg, I didn't support him at business/social functions in the evening because I was ill, and the medication I was taking made me fall asleep by 9pm; he says he was emotionally rejected by me, but that was only after he rejected me - which is a bit he said she said I know).

But me being ill (fibro, and a balance disorder meaning I can't drive any more) was behind a lot of things and situations, and I don't know if it's worth even trying to add explanation? There are a couple of actual errors which I do want corrected though.

I'm not disagreeing with the decision to divorce, but how much will the "she was an unreasonable bitch who was only interested in money" reasons affect any financial settlement? I facilitated his career for 30 years, and would be looking for enough cash to let me buy a smallish house (2 bed, cheap area), but I know he's going to be difficult about that (and will be able to be, in not easy to spot ways).

I'm also wondering why his current rush, I left nearly a year ago, we agreed six weeks ago that it was definitely over, and I'm supposed to respond to the solicitor within 14 days. We don't think there's an actual GF, although he has been potentially lining one up. I had hoped to wait till next year and do a 2 year separation "no blame" divorce, or see if the no fault divorce option does actually happen this year, but seems like he wants it all now.

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 07/05/2021 10:46

I wouldn't bother fighting the terms of the petition - save your energy for the financial battle ahead instead

PicaK · 07/05/2021 18:17

Don't worry - unless it's abuse then the reasons in the divorce section have no impact on the settlement section.
Grit your teeth with this
Save your fighting energy for the financial settlement.
But ring a solicitor and get some advice first.

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 08/05/2021 06:08

Thanks, that's all quite reassuring. I was really worried that being positioned as the money grabbing bitch in the petition would affect the financial settlement (it will anyway in the negotiations).

Yes,. I'm getting solicitor recommendations and will be sorting that soon, not looking forward to the next bit though!

OP posts:
Tanfastic · 08/05/2021 07:09

As annoying as it is that you won't get your side of "the story" particulars in a divorce of this nature are just a means to an end. Nobody sees them apart from the petitioner, respondent, solicitors and court staff. They won't impact on the finances.

So as not to massively offend we used to send a draft to the respondent's solicitor with a watered down version if it was an amicable divorce. There has to be Something in that section but we often used very unspecific and generic phrases just to get it through true door of the court.

Tanfastic · 08/05/2021 07:10

Through the door of the court

millymollymoomoo · 08/05/2021 17:34

It won’t affect the settlement at all
If you agree with the divorce don’t waste time or energy trying to clarify the petition

New posts on this thread. Refresh page