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MNHQ here: expert divorce/separation advice from a barrister - three videos for you
23

RowanMumsnet · 06/05/2021 09:33

Hello

The wonderful Paula Rhone-Adrien, who's a barrister with a specialism in divorce and separation, has recorded three videos for us on the topics that came up most frequently in the webchats and Zoomchats she's done with Mumsnet users.

They're really short - a few minutes each.

The topics are:

  • ;
  • ; and
  • .

Please note Paula specifies that her advice relates to how the English courts are likely, in principle, to address these issues - so the videos are necessarily quite generalised. But we hope the advice is still a useful starting point for anyone needing some guidance.

Thanks
MNHQ
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insertrandomusernamehere · 07/05/2021 14:59

NB: a non-molestation order can only be sought up to 15 days after the last incident of physical violence.

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masterblaster · 07/05/2021 18:40

But, I'm not married to a barrister :)

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EarringsandLipstick · 08/05/2021 09:41

It's hard to believe these are videos created by a family law expert (I just watched the first two). They are so general as to be almost meaningless, especially the first video re division of assets.

I feel it could have been much more substantial, while still brief & non-specific to circumstances.

I doubt there's anything in either of the 2 videos I watched that would even be vaguely new / informative to any adult.

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Collaborate · 08/05/2021 22:58

@insertrandomusernamehere

NB: a non-molestation order can only be sought up to 15 days after the last incident of physical violence.

I am a family law solicitor. This is wholly untrue. Who on earth told you that?
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Cleverpolly3 · 09/05/2021 10:42

@insertrandomusernamehere

My NMO was granted ex parte and the last incident was more than fifteen days after the last incident.
And a NMO is not restricted to physical violence.

Who has informed you of this tosh ?

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insertrandomusernamehere · 09/05/2021 11:02

@Cleverpolly3 and @Collaborate: an advisor from the national centre for domestic violence (NCDV). She said I could seek a non-molestation and injunction against my ex but I'd have to be quick as there was a limit of 15 days from the date of the last incident for me to apply for one. After that, I couldn't apply unless there had been another physical incident. This was all last week so I thought it was the most recent advice.

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Collaborate · 09/05/2021 11:56

It’s possible you may have misunderstood and that you were told that your chances of a successful outcome are improved the quicker you act. But if you’ve not misunderstood and you’ve been dissuaded from applying for a protective order because you’ve been given bad advice I’d be very concerned. Perhaps you could clarify with the Centre what you were told?

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Cleverpolly3 · 09/05/2021 13:18

What @Collaborate has advised you @insertrandomusernamehere in terms of if you have grounds for applying for such an order I would revisit this as what you understand is not right

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insertrandomusernamehere · 09/05/2021 14:02

@Collaborate

It’s possible you may have misunderstood and that you were told that your chances of a successful outcome are improved the quicker you act. But if you’ve not misunderstood and you’ve been dissuaded from applying for a protective order because you’ve been given bad advice I’d be very concerned. Perhaps you could clarify with the Centre what you were told?


I definitely didn't mishear/misunderstand. That's exactly what the lady I spoke to advised. I remember panicking thinking I needed to get a move on planning my next steps (which I'm still unsure of) because of the '15 day deadline'. I'll be calling back in the morning and asking why I was advised incorrectly. I think their calls are recorded so they'll have a record of our chat somewhere.
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Cleverpolly3 · 09/05/2021 17:00

Best of luck @insertrandomusernamehere

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Doughnut100 · 11/05/2021 02:09

@Cleverpolly3 call FLOWS instead. Flows.org.Uk. They will help you with injunctions. The NCDV have had some suspect dealings involving charging survivors to get injunctions.

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Cleverpolly3 · 11/05/2021 07:29

@Doughnut100
I have an injunction
The person requiring assistance isn’t me

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SteppedOnBloodyLego · 12/05/2021 06:55

EarringsandLipstick
I doubt there's anything in either of the 2 videos I watched that would even be vaguely new / informative to any adult.

Completely agree. Seriously, MNHQ?

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RowanMumsnet · 12/05/2021 08:56

@SteppedOnBloodyLego

EarringsandLipstick
I doubt there's anything in either of the 2 videos I watched that would even be vaguely new / informative to any adult.

Completely agree. Seriously, MNHQ?

We've had Paula on for both webchats and Zoomchats giving advice to users in some pretty desperate situations and they told us her advice on these topics has been incredibly useful, which is why we asked her to provide this extra content on the three topcis that had come up most frequently.

If they're not useful to you then of course feel free to ignore but the feedback we've had indicates they're very useful indeed to some. We're really grateful to Paula for her time and expertise which she offers freely to MNers who need it.
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Anniegetyourgun · 15/05/2021 05:45

Those of us who've been through the process and out the other side know it all, yes (or the bits that applied to our situation). But there are frequent new posters on here who haven't had cause to think about these issues before, coming to it new and in a quite natural state of confusion, who would benefit from a simple overview like this. There's also a lot of disinformation and misunderstanding being peddled as common knowledge so yes - I believe these videos will be useful! They're only designed as a starting point, after all.

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SkedaddIe · 15/05/2021 08:57

SMH there's always one armchair expert...

Just ignore @EarringsandLipstick the videos were a very good starting point and I imagine a lot of people in this situation for the first time would be clueless.

All three videos were clear and simple. Basic, but still very important information. I'd also add that Paula Rhone-Adrien speaks in a very calm way and I can see why she's so successful. Divorce is horrible and intimidating if I ever need to go through it I'd want a barrister like her (if I could afford them lol).

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DoingItForTheKid · 17/05/2021 06:16

I found the videos really useful.

It is such a stressful time thar to hear the reinforcement of my free 30 mins with a solicitor is so helpful.

A great idea, thank you.

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RowanMumsnet · 17/05/2021 15:22

@DoingItForTheKid

I found the videos really useful.

It is such a stressful time thar to hear the reinforcement of my free 30 mins with a solicitor is so helpful.

A great idea, thank you.

Thanks @DoingItForTheKid and we wish you all the best - really glad they were reassuring. Flowers
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mcCharthy · 20/05/2021 20:11

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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Gaga87 · 21/05/2021 15:53

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread.

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PatricksRum · 28/05/2021 01:48

@SkedaddIe

SMH there's always one armchair expert...

Just ignore *@EarringsandLipstick* the videos were a very good starting point and I imagine a lot of people in this situation for the first time would be clueless.

All three videos were clear and simple. Basic, but still very important information. I'd also add that Paula Rhone-Adrien speaks in a very calm way and I can see why she's so successful. Divorce is horrible and intimidating if I ever need to go through it I'd want a barrister like her (if I could afford them lol).

One can only speculate why she has an issue with the videos.
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Shehasadiamondinthesky · 29/05/2021 15:56

They are just so vague it's not true.
I owned my home before I met my husband so it was not an asset to be split. We were married for 20 years and the solicitor said he'd get 50k if he was lucky as we'd remortgaged after we married to do the place up.
In the end he got 10k.
So about as far from 50/50 as can be imagined.

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