Hi ladies (and gents!),
I need some advice please.
Me and my ex partner split around 3 years ago. He was and is very controlling and emotionally abusive, so I had no choice but to leave our home which we had a joint mortgage on because it was affecting my mental health. I moved on and found a partner which we started renting together as we didn't have enough money saved up to buy. From a £515k house, I ended up leaving with £24k due to the stress he was causing me , and I wanted it to be done with and get him (as much as possible) out of my life. That money had to be put on credit cards, as whilst we lived together I wasn't earning enough and over half of my money was going on nursery whilst he paid the mortgage (he earns double than what I do), so for day to day things, food, petrol, and anything our daughter needed, I would buy.
Skip 3 years, we are now in a battle of who's house should our daughter be registered to. Between us we have tried to be amicable and do 50/50, 2-2-3. Even though I have a partner, he doesn't pay anything for our daughter because she isn't his child. He buys her presents occasionally, but usually I buy everything. My ex is refusing to change across child benefit, her school address, dentist address and GPs address because he reasoning is, he originally did it so it shouldn't change.
Because of how controlling he is, our daughter is distraught when she knows its Dad time. School called today to say she has been curled up in a ball on the floor all day saying she doesn't want to go to her Dad's. She is always asking for me, on drop off she's constantly upset if she knows I'm not getting her, and the night before she is due to go to his, she's crying herself to sleep and it breaks my heart. He's admitted to me a few years ago he has no empathy, so our daughter being this distraught maybe doesn't affect him in the way it's affecting me? I've suggested (because I have contacted certain services and they have advised) that this schedule is quite hectic for a 5 year old and if she would rather spend time with mum, he should allow a bit more time with me until she is comfortable going to his more, and then I should allow her to spend as much time as possible with him. He completely shut this down and stated she has an amazing time when she is in his care so he will not entertain this idea.
He very good at coming across an amazing family man, likes to show off his nice house, fancy car and needs to mention to everyone he meets that it's 50/50 and he will not allow anything less.
I don't want to take our daughter away from her Dad, I want her to have a relationship with him. But with the controlling behaviour and the emotional abuse he gives to her, I know she will be affected mentally.
My question with the small-ish background story is, so I have a leg to stand on with getting her address changed to mine? Do I have any rights at all? I'm trying to get a solicitor, but I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with him. I'm exhausted.
I believe, and his family has mentioned this before that he may have narcissistic personality disorder, but he laughs it off and they all make a joke. But this may explain why he does what he does, which isn't right regardless.
TIA x