Do you have to agree to reasons for divorce?

[pinkrocker]

Asking for a pal. Husband has cited her for unreasonable behaviour, when she hasn't done anything wrong at all!
Does she need a solicitor to refute these claims? Can she ignore them and ignore the letter or has she got to have a solicitor?
She would rather wait the two years and pay £550 for the no fault divorce, as she's not got much money!

If she hasn't got much money and her husband has proceeded with the divorce then presumably he's paid or is paying for this so i'd just agree with the unreasonable behaviour aspect and move forwards.

She may not have done anything wrong (although I doubt this, and you're only hearing one side of the story don't forget) but, really, once one person in the marriage decides they want it to end then they can end it and nothing can stop this from happening

Fighting it would cost lots of money.
She doesn't have lots of money.
Why fight it when she wants a divorce?

What's the point, really? 🤷‍♀️ It's not like anyone is ever going to ask to see a copy of your 'Divorce Decree' for evidence of why you split! You don't have to display it in a frame to prove you're the 'innocent victim' in the proceedings 🤣

Why fight it? It’s not like divorce petitions are printed in your local newspaper.

My ex quibbled with my reasons, I was incredibly brief on detail when I could have given chapter and verse but he sucked it up so we could get it done.

When it’s over it’s over, no reason to drag it out. It costs the same whatever the reason or did when I did it. Ignoring the paperwork makes her look ridiculous.

You can contest (not advisable, also expensive) but you can add an addendum to say that you disagree with the reasons. This sort of thing winds me right up though.

When my ex left for OW, I received a draft petition from his solicitor listing endless reasons why I was unreasonable. He made them all up and admitted that he couldn't have OW's "reputation" damaged. It was alright to use me as collateral damage though. I told his solicitor about his affair which he had failed to mention to her and that I'd take advice on her draft. I then went straight to the court with my own forms and filed on the grounds of his adultery.

There was no way I was agreeing to a divorce that made me look like a piece of shit 🤷🏻‍♀️

You're right in that she wants a divorce too, she's just massively upset that he's painted her out to be the bad guy when he's the one that's left. Their kids would be so disappointed in their dad for saying this stuff. But yes, I do see only one side.
So going forward, if she's not contesting it, does she need a solicitor to agree to the divorce on her behalf or can she just fill out the paperwork herself?
Thanks for all your replies!

I don't think it matters. It's not going to show on the decree nisi or on anything else for that matter. It will cost him more money. It just means he is bitter. Let him do what he wants and be glad when it is all over

@pinkrocker

You're right in that she wants a divorce too, she's just massively upset that he's painted her out to be the bad guy when he's the one that's left. Their kids would be so disappointed in their dad for saying this stuff. But yes, I do see only one side. So going forward, if she's not contesting it, does she need a solicitor to agree to the divorce on her behalf or can she just fill out the paperwork herself? Thanks for all your replies!

She can do it herself. However, I would definitely state that she disagrees with the reasons. I can't bear injustice though.

Thanks all! I'm meeting her this morning.

And this is why we need quick no-fault divorce legislation. The sooner that comes through, the better. All this 'unreasonable behaviour' bullshit just sets people against each other and makes the divorce harder. My late husband objected to the reasons I cited on the petition (alcoholism and associated awful behaviour) but settled for just saying he disagreed. It did delay things though, and he ended up dead before the nisi was pronounced.

I do think it's different if there's been cheating or abuse of any kind, but even then as long as there is financial fairness, arguing about whose fault the split is, is counterproductive.

@pointythings
Mine is saying he is going to deny all the alcohol problem reasons when it comes through and refuse to sign it
He says I need to think of a different reason if I want to divorce him
Ffs

@fedup078 there are limits to how far he can go in refusing to sign the petition. Unfortunately it may cost you extra money, but you can have the petition served to him and at that point he will be deemed to have received it and read it. Unless he wants to contest (which will cost £££), he can't prevent you from divorcing him.

This site explains the process pretty well (there are other sites too): www.simpsonmillar.co.uk/media/what-happens-if-my-spouse-doesnt-sign-the-divorce-papers/#:~:text=If%20you%20ex%20still%20refuses,an%20application%20for%20Deemed%20Service.

My late H was stupid enough to send me texts telling me he had read the petition and disagreed with my grounds for unreasonable behaviour, so I pointed out to him that he had given me the evidence to use the Deemed Service route. That was when he backed down and signed, stating he disagreed. Let's hope your STBX is similarly dumb.

My (abusive, had an affair, arse hole) ex listed about a dozen ridiculous reasons for divorce - I was gutted I didn't get in first.

In the end I just responded with a quick line stating I disagreed with the reasons, but agreed that the marriage was over. Nobody will ever read the reasons as they are not publicly recorded - though your ex is at will to show his copies of the paperwork to whoever he wants.

You have to come up with some reason to get divorced, it's the law at the moment. What is written isn't actually relevant, you just need some reasons that seem plausible. That's what our mediator told us.

I was the petitioner, (we even agreed that bit together) and I was told to come up with five reasons. They were broadly true and I posted them to him beforehand so he'd not be shocked. I even apologised to him for what I had written. But that's what you have to do, come up with reasons and if you can't think of any you have to make them up. What I think you should try and do is be fair, and it can't be silly stuff like he burnt the toast three times a week so you have to say stuff like "so-and-so didn't show me affection and I felt unloved"