Can I get divorce without giving alimony?

[yoda101sw]

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Hello, I'm a British citizen and my partner is from India, we got married in Oct 2019 via the court marriage in India and then had a religious marriage ceremony in Feb 2020. We don't have kids.

We planned to return to the UK with her after the marriage in Feb 2020 as it was over a 2 weeks holiday period. But due to the pandemic, we had to stay there and we arrived in the UK in Jan 2021. During this time in India, we stayed at my parent's place and instead of spending our life happily, we had lots of fights that was linked with my partner and both of the families. There was also a situation where she threw a bottle at me which was hurtful as it hit my leg's bone, attacked m my neck and broke a gold chain, plus lots of verbal abuse, threats in different instances.

We were not able to go on honeymoon straight away due to the pandemic worldwide, so, I took her to Bali in Nov 2020 at my expense. We came back to the UK in Jan 2021 and I paid for her dependant visa plus the NHS fee.

I thought things will improve after coming to the UK as there will be just two of us, but in these 4 months, she has done things which I never thought. During the fights she has had with me, not only she has abused me verbally but also spat on my face, twisted my ear, slapped me thrice, etc. I tried my best to push her away for self-defence, etc.

I and my family are scared of her & her family for the last year, it is very easy in India to log false cases like rape, dowry, adultery, etc. majority of the laws are women favoured and not for man.

I don't see my future with such a person who abuses me verbally and has also hit me which totally crosses the boundary in any relationship. I can't think of having a kid with her. She is also jealous of my career, job, salary, etc. as she has mentioned many times. We both are IT software engineers, I graduated here and for her, it was in India and we both work commercially.

We have paid for her expenses when we were in India, I have paid for her visa to sponsor her happily. I have been paying my house mortgage, utility, council, internet, water bills from 2016 for the current place, I pay for our groceries, her phone bill, day-to-day expenses, her clothes shopping, gifts, etc.

I have tried to be a good husband and love, support her from every side - emotionally, financially and responsibility wise. But in return, I'm now lost after she spat on my face and slapped me thrice on my face in different instances. The last one got me a panic attack and she had to call an ambulance and later I was taken to the emergency hospital where I was under observation for 2 days.

I'm upset while writing this to know the possibilities of getting a divorce in the UK.

• As such, we got married in India and we have different nationality, is a divorce in England valid in India? Can she appeal in India after we get divorced here?
• If I file a divorce in the UK (online/post), will my partner still live with me under one roof? As that will be riskier, I don't want to get more domestic abuse and threats like what I'm facing currently. Or will she be asked to live somewhere else and maybe return to India as she is on a dependant visa that I have sponsored?
• Both of us work in the IT sector, we don't have any joint assets, money or children. I have my house on mortgage, savings, pension. Will I have to pay anything to her if I file a divorce?

Any help/guidance will be much appreciated.

@yoda101sw

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please delete this test msg, I was not able to post so I was trying my luck, thanks

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@MrsFin

Is this post for real?

Hi, are you able to read my second long post?

As the first one was a test because I was not able to post a new thread, it was giving an error - "please login first" even when I was logged in and I also tried a few different browsers.

You can indeed get divorced in Uk as that is where you’re resident.

Your assets are here in Uk but as you’re so newly married, I’m sure you’ll not need to split any assets nor would you be require to pay alimony.

As she is verbally and physically abusing you, you should get a restraining order. Follow this through to the final order so she will have to stay away from you for a long period of time. Do not drop it. Men are victims of domestic violence too. You will be believed

See a lawyer and start proceedings to dissolve your marriage.

Do check with an immigration lawyer as well because of the whole 'recourse to public funds' issue

And consider an occupation order to get her out of the house.
Did you report to the Police?

@LongTimeMammaBear @MrsTerryPratchett @MooseBeTimeForSummer Thanks for your reply to my post.

I have made the local police aware of the recent verbal, physical abuse and that I collapsed, taken to the emergency for 2 days, etc. I have not filed a complaint yet but told them all this so that they can call my family in India if anything happens to me in the future. Not sure if my heart/body will be able to handle the fights, verbal or physical abuse every time, I have got high BP, hypertension from the last year after getting married.

The other reason why I have not filed a complaint is that it is very easy for wives to log a false case against the husband and his family for dowry, rape, etc. and it will take years for us to prove our innocence and expenses will be huge over these years. The laws in India are more women-centric as compared to the men, there are many victims like me in India.

@MrsTerryPratchett The BRP card (visa) of my partner says "No public funds" in the remarks section and she is on family dependant visa.

@MooseBeTimeForSummer Other than my initial conversation with the police, few nail marks on my face, I don't have any strong evidence about physical abuse (spat, slap, ear twist, etc.). Will this be required for such an order?

@yoda101sw see a lawyer as soon as possible.

Also check out mankind initiative website, it's a website for men experiencing domestic abuse and their families

If you would be open to abuse through the court system in India, then don't go to India until your divorce is final in the UK. In fact, if her family are violent then don't go to India at all. I don't know about the Indian court system but generally speaking a divorce in your country of residence (UK) will be recognised in most countries of the world.

She is in quite a vulnerable position as a foreign national, it would be kind to support her financially if you can, at least until either the divorce is final or she returns to India. If you are experiencing violence then one or other of you needs to be living somewhere else, and if she doesn't have an income and has no recourse to public funds then the cost of that will fall to you. I know that it will cost a fair bit but it won't be forever.

Sorry to hear of your situation. Yes, you can divorce here and given your situation I think that you should do so ASAP. Your marriage is short, you can divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. How did you meet this woman (not relevant, just being nosey)?

I married a foreign national abroad but divorced in England. If you are resident in the UK you can divorce in the UK.

@ValleysGirl72 Thanks for your reply and for sharing the website, I'll talk to a few solicitors tomorrow to get an idea about the process and options.

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar I'd have decided not to go to India but my own family lives there - mother, father, sister, brother-in-law and nephew, so I can think about not going to India for a while but not for a long gap. I can definitely wait till the divorce is done in the UK. I'm not sure if she can appeal in India and file all sorts of false cases on me and my family after divorce completes here. Supporting her as a concern is in my thoughts as well, she has a job right now which is for an Indian IT company, she is managing to work based on the time difference similar to what I did for the last year when we were in India due to the pandemic, she is getting paid as per Indian market and I have been taking care of her UK expenses. I do get what you mean, I can allow her to live with me after the filing provided she doesn't create any new fights verbal or physical. Plus, it will be kind to support her while she is away from her home, I'll keep doing my part of the husband's role.

Forgot to add that ‘alimony’, although the meaning is obviously known, is not a term that is used in proceedings here. The divorce process and division of assets are two separate things.

There is no way that you will be expected to pay spousal maintenance given the length of marriage but you may need to consider division of assets. You need to consult a solicitor regarding this but again, given how brief the marriage is and the fact that there aren’t any children it is not going to be reasonable for a court to expect a 50/50 if she contributed no assets or finance.

@PishFood Thanks for the info

Update from my side - I have got an appointment booked with a solicitor for Monday to talk about the divorce process and division of assets.

I have a few questions:

• I'm more worried about the my house, car, savings and pension, to which there is no contribution from my partner. I bought the house in 2016 and have been paying the instalments by myself plus working from 2011 to build up savings and pension. I don't want to give anything to her. Not sure if these will be counted as matrimonial assets in the length of this marriage which is 1 year 4 months.
• When should I apply for the non-molestation/occupation order - before filing for divorce or after? As if my assets, especially the house will be counted as matrimonial asset then I'll need to sell it first. The moment she will come to know about this order, she may file divorce as well and then I'll have no time to sell the house. I was thinking to sell it this year as it was bought with the help of help to buy equity loan scheme.

This all sounds very complex.
Write a list of questions for your legal appointment.
Get advice on the violence as well as the financial side of things.
Good luck

Hi, I had appointments with 2 solicitors recently. One has said that the english law starts with 50/50 when it comes to division of assets and then the court will see about individual assets and contributions after marriage. Another one said that you may sell your house if you have any doubt before divorce but she will hardly get anything as she has not contributed and the house was bought before the marriage.

But of them said that she can apply for the matrimonial home rights with Land Registry even if the house is registered on my name. I have finalised the selling of the property with an agent recently and it will be on the market soon.

Should I wait to file a divorce or non-molestation order before the selling is complete or should I do it in parallel?

I bought this place a few years ago with help to buy equity loan scheme and 6th year starts this year. I don't have that much money to pay the govt loan in full and I'm scared that my greedy wife will try to get part of the house or sell amount.

She came to the UK with me in Jan and has hidden the fact that she has left her indian job and got a job in the UK on contract basis. Her greed of making money in GBP is too much above the love and support I was giving her. I feel so cheated that she has used me to come to the UK and now she has achieved what she wanted and gives no damn about the relationship, house, partner, responsibilities. Started earning in £ with no responsibilities towards rent, food, utility, grocery, etc. and relationship.

What should I do?

Are you living together? So if you put your house on the market, she will know about it? Does she know that you want to end the marriage?

Yes we live together in the UK, she knows that I'm selling the house. She doesn't know that I'm thinking to file a divorce. I'm now tired of the mental pressure, verbal abuse and physical one too. I have suffered a lot in this 1 year 4 months of marriage that I thought will give me happiness. To be honest, I was more happy as a bachelor and lived nicely in the UK over a decade.