Help with first steps

[Mumof3dogs]

After 28 years of marriage- the last few very hard years..
I have come to the decision ( finally ) that I have to end marriage.

We had a heated one sided conversation last night where all my faults were pointed out and after a sleepless night I have decided enough is enough.

So, I realize I will have to get legal advice for divorce but if I walk out am I legally allowed to take a chunk of our financial assets with me?

Back story- we lived abroad and came back nearly 2 years ago and have funds to buy a house in the bank which I have access to.

I wouldn't literally remove 1/2 ( or should I ?) but a decent chunk to live on for a while as things move forward.

Last night I was told if we spilt he would be amicable and would offer me a cash sum to leave - but I wasn't getting access to his pension.
Personally I feel this would not be fair as I have given up my working life to allow him to earn the money to be in the position he is today and also to have those pensions.

I am not convinced he would be as fair in reality as he was claiming. He is fairly money and asset driven so hitting him in the wallet would hurt a lot.

Im sure I will have more to add later and more questions but this is at least a start.

I'm hoping I will be able to rent a house with 6 months rent upfront as that seems the only way right now and lord knows what will happen to the dogs plus we have one DS still at University so we will need to have room for him to come "home"

Anyone?

Hi, the starting point of division of assets is 50/50.
If I were you I'd take half of the money so you don't have to spend legal fee's fighting to get it down the line if he moves it.
And it's also tough luck for him that he doesn't want you to access his pension, pensions are now counted as a marital assett so will go in the pot.
This article is an interesting read on some recent court decisions on pension sharing.
www.duttongregory.co.uk/site/blog/personalnews/pensions-and-divorce

Good luck with getting it sorted

@thelonggame
Thanks for the reply and also the link / interesting indeed!

I think I will transfer some money across - luckily I have access to all funds.

I would also say take out half before you mention the word 'divorce'. My ex emptied our joint account so beware. If he's difficult as a spouse, be prepared for him to be far worse going through the divorce process. You need to protect yourself.

He is the one who was mentioning it last night but he is the one who leaves the finances to me so currently I have an upper hand.

Needless to say as after all meltdown rows, today he is contrite and acting like it never happened/ wtf??

I was awake 1/2 the night trying to work out what to do and today he's full let's plan our forever home ??

I can't deal with this again and again! Grr!