Struggling tonite

[CatWillSaveMe]

I’m in a bit of a state tonight. Divorced from
ExH, absolute came through on 01/04, consent order still pending and not a big deal because i managed to buy him out and it feels like just a formality as we just about manage amicable relationship for now.
What i’m struggling with is the fact that at no point DH showed any desire to fix things, if anything he continued to ignore me during the divorce just like he did during marriage. No emotion.
I’m sat here contemplating long term financial impact of this on kids but he is just not bothered. Unemployed by choice for the past 2 years and still hoping to be the next bill gates. Give me a fucking break.
In the meantime, i’m discovering house needs some structural repairs as he was a bit of a cowboy with knocking out walls without adequate support. Back then i left it to him as i trusted him to look after us and it’s backfiring. I’ll be fixing his shit.
I have so much unresolved anger towards him. He seems to not give a shit, me as a person did not matter to him for a long time. I’m cought up between wondering how i (an intelligent woman with a good job) ended up with a person like this, feeling lonely and terrified that i am bound to die alone because i’m too scared to pick up a similar shitty man in the future...

Well done divorcing. Take things slowly. He sounds like a waste of space and you're rid. So sorry he hasn't been caring about you. Pause and let yourself recover. I'm sure you wouldn't pick a similar man again. X

Well rid indeed, @RichmondMumof2.. my mental health has taken a nose dive though with all the wondering ‘why’...

How are you doing @CatWillSaveMe?

Break ups are horrible. Keep your head right, it wasn't you. In time your self worth will recover.

He's not worth your anger, thats energy you could better expend enjoying today and tomorrow and the next day etc etc.

Do not waste more time thinking on him ffs, just be glad you are out and start planning new pleasures, just walking with a friend, reading a book in peace, decorating your bedroom in baby pink..one day at a time.

I completely get where you are and how you feel with all the whys and hows, it really brings you down..so ive decided I have to just park all the questions and put a positive spin on everything..so yes, I'm in a bit of a mess emotionally and financially, but do you know what? how amazing to be me again, and once I pull myself back up there will be no stopping me. Every little thing I do for myself is like a monumental victory!!
Keep plugging on xx

@RichmondMumof2 i have better days and worse days, normal i guess. Funny how it all goes to pot depending on my monthly cycle, can’t wait to see the back of that too.
@Biggles001 thank you for understanding. I hope it’s a phase i will get out of soon... what is your situation?

Hello @CatWillSaveMe sorry to hear you've been struggling. Things can only get better and the one day at a time advice is so so true. You have so much to be thankful for, I sometimes write a gratitude list when I find myself feeling down or sorry for myself. I can't imagine you'd choose the same type of guy again if you just take things really slowly and any warming signs get out asap. I'm at the very beginning of my separation/divorce journey and feeling lots of fear about financial stability but I have to get out, can't stagnant any longer.