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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

How much did your divorce cost?

30 replies

Sunshineandflipflops · 23/04/2021 15:27

Hi

I've posted this in Relationships too but maybe people on here might have some experience/advice too.

I have been separated from my ex husband for over 3 years now. We agreed at the time to wait to 2 years for a 'no fault' divorce (even though he had an affair) and neither of us have mentioned it since...Covid, etc has taken precedent I guess.

Both of us are in other relationships, although neither of us live with our partners.

My bf is understanding but has asked recently when I think I will get divorced, which I understand (he is divorced). I don't want to get married again, or even live with anyone so getting divorced just hasn't been a priority for me but I guess I need to get the ball rolling sometime as my ex doesn't seem to be.

The main things holding me back are that me and our 2 kids are still in the family home. I work but wouldn't get the mortgage on my own so it's still in joint names and ex makes sure he covers us being able to stay here. It's not a huge place - 3 bedrooms with 2 teenagers and me so downsizing isn't really an option for them to be able to get to school.

Also, I don't have much in the way of savings to pay for solicitors fees so I was wondering what kind of figure I can expect to pay? I know it varies greatly but we are amicable and I wouldn't want to rinse him dry or anything (he basically doesn't have anything worth having apart from his hare of the house and his pension).

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
pos1t1vePolly · 23/04/2021 18:21

@Sunshineandflipflops I am in a very similar situation. Only we've separated almost 6 years 😳 he has a petitioned divorced on grounds of 5 year separation, I'm not contesting. Like you, I've avoided it due to costs and because me and our 2 teens live in the family home. We're about to start mediation to agree a financial settlement. They advise 5 sessions for mediation -this process usually costs around £1000 (total). My solicitor costs £200 p/h 😳 but I'm hoping we can cut a deal in mediation and I won't need her services too much.

Having learnt what I have over the past few weeks, my advice to you would be: do it sooner rather than later. The older the children, the less of the "asset pot" you will receive. The starting point for negotiations is 50:50 and then individual circumstances and need come into play. For example, my ex is renting a 4 bed house with his partner and she has no children, it's just our DC's that visit. His housing needs are met. If I had to move out of the FMH, I would still need a 3 bed house as I have a teen son & daughter.
Also, it's worth remembering that the person who petitions (applies for divorce) cab ask for their legal costs to be met by the other party... if he earns a lot more than you, it's worth exploring. I have buried my head in the sand for 5+ years and I'm glad the process has begun. Good luck! X

Newnormal99 · 23/04/2021 18:22

Divorce fee itself is £550 ish. I did that myself. We them agreed settlement ourselves and I paid solicitor about £1200 to check it over and draft the consent order.

Original poster
Sunshineandflipflops · 23/04/2021 19:01

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply and share your experiences. I am going to book an appt with a solicitor next week to discuss what I should be asking for financially/house wise and then I’ll take it from there.
I’ve taken a big step today in Facing up to the fact that I need to get this ball rolling.

OP posts:
GentlemanJay · 23/04/2021 22:45

£13000. The daft thing is it will have cost my ex the same or more as she hired a barrister for the court financial hearing. I didn't do any good.

CatWillSaveMe · 24/04/2021 00:37

I paid for divorce application £550 and then some £800 for divorce lawyers fees. Our consent order is still pending so all in all i expect it to be around £2k total. We are amicable and no disputes which helps. Divorce lawyer has drawn up heads of agreement prior to nisi and will send that to court when we get our shit together and provide the info needed.

CatWillSaveMe · 24/04/2021 00:39

My take is, Ex paid for our very modest wedding, i’m paying for divorce.

chocolatealldaylong · 24/04/2021 07:40

I've spent about £25k so far! It's a nightmare but I haven't had a choice.

jellybeans · 25/04/2021 02:19

About 4000 including pension reports and mortgage transfers

MrsHInch · 25/04/2021 03:46

£550 for the online application form for divorce.
Split what was left of the measly equity in the house once the raft of debts he racked up had been paid & split 60:40 to him (I earned double what he did.
Didn't even speak to solicitors at all about anything, rightly or wrongly.

The whole none contesting from him spurred me on!

Jamboree01 · 25/04/2021 03:56

The no fault thing is nonsense as courts don’t regard fault no matter what. That’s a strange request from your ex. He sounds like he knows what he is planning.

Divorce fee was £550 but I also had to take on a solicitor because I needed to protect myself and my children- and our futures.

We had a ‘clean break’ via court order- I bought him out of the house but the court order means that he can’t try to come after the house, my earbuds or pension in the future.

Some solicitors do 30 minute free advice- I think you should probably go for this. Take as mouth info about your income and expenditure along with you as you can (and anything you might know about his).

Jamboree01 · 25/04/2021 03:57

*earnings not earbuds 🤣

Jamboree01 · 25/04/2021 03:57

*much not mouth 🤣 sorry dropped my phone and cracked the screen 🤦🏼‍♀️

Iona345 · 25/04/2021 07:34

More than £25k over 2.5 years. I refuse to tot up the final amount because it makes me feel sick.

It can spiral out of control easily and quickly as soon as you start arguing.

I'd do it very differently in hindsight.

Jamboree01 · 25/04/2021 07:50

Mine cost over 50K and I don’t regret a penny of it

minniemomo · 25/04/2021 07:53

I'm in a similar situation (no affair) we are both living with new partners and have a good relationship too (even met new dps). I've told exh to file online, £550, and sent him the marriage certificate to do it. We have a private financial settlement and aren't bothering with a consent order as it's non standard and we don't want them prying into it nor the thousand plus pound bill to do it!

Gensola · 25/04/2021 07:56

Mine cost £550 - uncontested and we did it all ourselves, just had to pay court fees.
DH’s with his ex cost each of them about £12,000 in two years of solicitor fees and she paid even more for court fees on top because she wouldn’t agree to anything so it ended up in court where the court told her what her solicitor and his solicitor had already told her many times. Such a waste of money!

Westfacing · 25/04/2021 08:00

A few hundred pounds - can't exactly remember it was 17 years ago.

Children were adults and my ex and I just agreed to split the assets 50/50 (family home and some savings) pensions were similar value. With hindsight I could have pushed for a share of the small business but at the time thought financially it wasn't worth it.

Jamboree01 · 25/04/2021 08:23

What does a private financial settlement mean? And what happens if either one of you don’t honour it?

Lovemusic33 · 25/04/2021 08:29

£500

Gensola · 25/04/2021 08:34

@Jamboree01 there’s nothing to make either of them stick to a private financial settlement. A legally sealed financial consent order is the only secure way to ensure a clean break financially and to have legal protection for what you have agreed

Jamboree01 · 25/04/2021 08:38

I know. That’s what I did myself. That’s why posed the question

trevthecat · 25/04/2021 08:39

I did it all myself, £550 I think. No finances to sort out just the paperwork. Was really easy

LesLavandes · 25/04/2021 08:41

Mine took 4 years with many court appearances. It cost a huge amount of money. This was because my ex would not negotiate. Was awful and the saying 'it's only the lawyers who win' was true in my case

ProseccoThyme · 25/04/2021 09:27

About 5K in legal fees so far over 18m & still not done yet - hoping another 1K or so will do it.

When you first go to see a solicitor, they give you an unrealistic "best possibility" view, so you and your ex are miles apart with expectations.

The answer is always somewhere in the middle.

Agree that once the lawyers get involved it becomes expensive & stressful - they usually have a combative approach- which just exacerbates things.

Sprite999 · 25/04/2021 10:16

£300 with divorce online including a financial consent order. Court fees were free as I was on a low income at the time. It was quite simple in terms of the financial split though. I’d see a solicitor to see what you should expect then try and agree it yourselves if amicable. It can include provision for you and kids to remain in the family home till the youngest is 18.