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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I’ve done it!

7 replies

Joanna000603 · 22/04/2021 00:02

After 27years of marriage to a Covert Narcissist (only recently realised), I’ve finally taken steps to divorce my husband.
I didn’t realise I was being controlled. I just thought he loved me and was looking out for me. I haven’t told him yet and have decided to tell him the start of next month.
Luckily, I’ve been seeing a therapist for depression and she is being very supportive but I can’t help feeling really guilty, as life has been running smoothly and I keep doubting myself. I keep remembering all the good times and how much I loved him and he keeps talking about plans for the future.
I have a solicitor, whom I’m meeting with next week.
I’m trying to stay strong and know it’s now or never. Just dreading telling him and hurting him. The divorce is financially complicated and can already imagine the backlash that’s coming my way.
I’d like to thank those who commented on my original post, as those comments made my blood run cold but started my journey researching my situation and my husband’s quietly controlling behaviour.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me, they would be very much appreciated?

OP posts:
luckyreds · 23/04/2021 00:03

Good for you, things can only get better from here on out!!!!! ThanksThanksThanks

You will have dark days and good days but just put one foot in front of the other, the future is bright

rubymoo · 24/04/2021 21:13

Just keep inching forward day by day and you’ll see you it will happen and you will get to the other side. I’m 5 months further down the line since I told Dh I wanted to separate. Just be consistent and he’ll have no one to argue with

Patriciathestripper1 · 24/04/2021 21:14

Yes don’t ever look back once you have gone.... Best of luck x x x

rubymoo · 24/04/2021 21:15

Ps I feel fab, free, at peace and excited for the future. Been married for nearly 20 years and really been pretty crap for the last 10... one day I just snapped and knew it had to be done

Joanna000603 · 26/04/2021 20:32

Thanks all for the support. Appointment with my solicitor tomorrow. Will break the news to him after the bank holiday.

OP posts:
colouringindoors · 26/04/2021 20:36

Keep going. You are doing the right thing. It will be bumpy so make good use of your counsellor, solicitor and friends. You can do this 💐

Aprilshowersandhail · 26/04/2021 20:37

List!!
List everything you want to say..
You will get emotional and you will forget things you need to say..
And remember the shorter and more efficient the appointments the less £££ you hand over.
Even a phone call is chargeable!

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