Is this happening too fast?

[9925dum2007-05-23 10:27:14]

So, back in November my husband announced he wants to separate/divorce. No one else is involved he just doesn't want to be with me anymore- doesn't love me. Things haven't been great for a few years so I understand but I was willing to try. He works away and has a paid for apartment. We are now in the early stages of getting our house ready to sell. It's a big house and it's a sellers market just now so that's what's driving the timing. Thing is, he has a place to live. I won't once we sell this house. He's quite controlling and so far I've gone along with it but I'm now feeling rushed just because the market is so bonkers. I've just started a new job (full time after years of working 4 days a week) I'm knackered, stressed and don't want to be asking for time off for viewings and all the other crap that goes with selling a house. My son is at Uni so there is no disruption for him. Is this all happening too quickly given we are only 5 months on from him telling me he wants to separate?

Im sorry to say but I suspect he's already met someone else.

If you're not ready to sell then put a pause on that. It's not really fair that you're habing to do all the legwork. I'd be tempted to price that up and charge him half. Do you know where you'd like to live?

@Palavah

Im sorry to say but I suspect he's already met someone else.

If you're not ready to sell then put a pause on that. It's not really fair that you're habing to do all the legwork. I'd be tempted to price that up and charge him half. Do you know where you'd like to live?

He ABSOLUTELY has not met anyone else

I need to make it clear that my husband has not met someone else - he's a very solitary person.

I’m guess you are wanting/needing to down size? If that’s the case then this is definitely the right time to be doing it incase the house bubble burst.

Have you had legal advice on the financial split, if not do so remember assets considered include pension. Don't let your ex steam roll you into accepting an unfair financial settlement.
There are two things that fuel ExH's into wanting to move things on fast:

1. Another woman
2. Wanting to gain an unfair settlement as they view the money as theirs rather than family money.

Whether he's met someone else or not is irrelevant.
I'd just crack on asap OP. You don't want yo be tied to a controlling man who wants out. This will give you freedom.

If he has somewhere to live then why the tearing hurry? This reeks of someone else.

Thing is, he probably has had a lot more time than you to think about splitting and what the ramifications are. I don’t suppose he suddenly decided one night he wanted to split. You, on the other hand, have had far less time to process everything. I think, this bring the case, you’d be within your rights to insist on slowing things up a little.

Have you asked him why he is in such a rush?

I think you can put a pause on it can't you? Unless a court order. Just tell him it's not a good time for you, you don't have time, you're not ready to move house yet and you need more time to prepare and think about where you want to move to.
Is he a bit of a bully and hard to say no to? You will be well shot of him.

Ok, well it doesn't matter either way.

If you want to slow it down because you don't have capacity to manage the sale then do so. You may miss out on the stamp duty wave but if you'll be in demand anyway that may not matter. Just don't be trying to slow it down in hopes of a reconciliation if there's nothing that suggests that's on the cards.

Where will the money go when you've sold it? Have you agreed the split?
He's rushing you.
For his benefit.
If you were a friend what would you say to yourself. Has this friend had time to think.
I don't think selling the house is a bad idea per se but I think it can wait for the divorce and financial consent to be in place.
Pensions, assets etc split to be agreed.
I'd be a tiny bit suspicious about his moving ahead so fast
My solicitor is wonderful, down to earth, sensible etc if you are in UK - sounds like you need some reassurance and a pep talk
www.wilkes.co.uk/people/sian-kenkre/

It does sound rushed and I'd be very suspicious as to his motives. Have you had legal advice about splitting of assets - what's going to happen to the funds from the sale of the house?
I'd see a Solicitor before you go any further.

Have you got good, sound legal advice?
If not, get it, fast.

I do think it must be very hard for you as the one left to deal with the house sale and then effectively making yourself homeless, but don't think that it is rushing it as it's now five months since your split.
Have you been able to look around and plan where you will live once your home is sold? Maybe concentrating on the positives of having your own new home could help you move forward?