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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

There's no getting away from him

2 replies

Shakeooff · 17/04/2021 22:29

We separated 3 months ago, I'm residing in the family home, DH has moved out.

The family home was in the process of undergoing some light renovation work (nothing too drastic) when he left. I agreed that he could continue coming back to do the work on the weekends he doesn't see DCs. He is doing all the work himself with help from his brother.

I found DH quite suffocating in some ways when we were together, disengaged in family life in other ways, but I feel like I can't move on with my life. When he doesn't have DCs he's here, in my space, using the loo, making a cup of tea, making light hearted conversation as if everything is normal. We can't afford to outsource the work and it's going to take another 6 or 7 weekends to complete. Frustratingly, he's had 2 weeks off over Easter, but just did a day here, a few hours there and so not much has been done. I've a feeling he may drag it out as it's a way for him to keep seeing me and a way for him to keep an eye on what's happening in the house.

We intend to sell up in 1 year and buy seperqtr houses as this is when finances will allow, along with other personal circumstances and the work we have wanted to do will be complete. I envision that he'll have more DIY jobs on his agenda after this one though. I can't even have friends in the garden on my free weekend as it's loaded with materials and is in a mess.

There's no escape.
Any tips or advice?

OP posts:
jamaisjedors · 17/04/2021 22:32

God this sounds awful.

How feasible is it to agree with him when he is coming to do the diy and then arrange to be out every time.

Explain you need a clean break and he needs to stick to a schedule which you agree on.

Other alternative is to say stop doing the diy, and just get on with selling the house and cut your losses.

Shakeooff · 17/04/2021 22:40

I agree @jamaisjedors I think a rota will be needed or an agreement to leave it all as is. Definitely an option to leave it once things now are finished and tidied. He is so disorganised with his time that he'll never follow a rota I'm sure, but worth a try.

OP posts:
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