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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Husband spending his money on house before selling /divorce

15 replies

Maze76 · 13/04/2021 20:58

We are going to get a divorce and sell. Suddenly he’s digging up the garden path and has had a man round to quote for a new one. He’s paying for it from his account. Do you think this is some ploy to get more in settlement? I really cannot see the point. Interested to see your opinions

OP posts:
LemonTT · 13/04/2021 22:44

You could ask him why he wants the work done. Sounds like it’s to help sell the house and to give him something to do at a time of stress.

HosannainExcelSheets · 14/04/2021 14:51

It's a bit puzzling if you definitely have to sell, but if he's hoping to buy you out then by doing repairs now he is effectively making you pay for half of them.

You could just ask though. I'm having to do work on a house I'm likely to have to sell in my divorce because the windows leak, and maintenance is urgent. It's quite expensive and my stbx is not best pleased.

Original poster
Maze76 · 14/04/2021 15:38

That’s the thing he’s paying for it himself and he knows I won’t agree to him buying me out. The garden is in good shape, just the path was crumbling, but the new owners will come in and make it how they want it, so it seems an unnecessary expense.
I don’t see his logic... Makes no sense

OP posts:
HosannainExcelSheets · 14/04/2021 15:45

It could just be displacement activity, to keep him busy and distracted.

But any money he spends now is gone from the marital pot, so it is still you paying in a way. If he decreases his savings then his assets are lower and the settlement might end up more in his favour. Obviously without knowing the full details it's impossible to say if that's the case in your situation.

Original poster
Maze76 · 14/04/2021 20:36

Thank you, it’s hardly a fortune but spending so there’s less settlement wise, seems to be making the most sense.

OP posts:
Elieza · 14/04/2021 20:48

Could be a way of increasing ‘keen appeal’ to get a better sale price.

Why won’t you agree to him thing you out?

Elieza · 14/04/2021 20:48

Buying you out

2ndtimemum2 · 14/04/2021 23:35

Why won't you let him buy you out?

Original poster
Maze76 · 15/04/2021 08:56

This was my first home, our first marital home. We planned on raising a family here and I won’t have the woman he’s left me for move in and live here with him. He’s taken so much from me, I just can’t do it.

OP posts:
Elieza · 15/04/2021 09:41

I meant to say ‘kerb appeal’ earlier!

Stupid autocorrect.

Yeah I can understand why you would feel bitter if it was your first home. I’d not want him keeping it either.

However if it was just your first marital home I’d let him have it if I could get a fair settlement from him as she’d be the one who would suffer and nip his head about moving etc so it would be the gift that keeps giving, and not in a good way for him!

Has he had it surveyed or had the estate agent round? Perhaps they recommended the repairs. The thing with stuff that’s not right is that potential buyers can think that if the paths not right how much else hasn’t been maintained perhaps we should go in with a low offer.

Yeah they will do what they want when they move in but if a few repairs done at minimum expense for maximum effect will help get a good price I think he might be doing a sensible thing. However the cost should be discussed prior if it’s affecting a divorce settlement.

There’s no point in spending two grand or whatever on a path if it doesn’t get you an increased valuation/offer of at least that amount.

LemonTT · 15/04/2021 09:43

@Maze76

This was my first home, our first marital home. We planned on raising a family here and I won’t have the woman he’s left me for move in and live here with him. He’s taken so much from me, I just can’t do it.
This is counterproductive tbh. If you can get your money out and move on with life then let him buy you out. That way things are settled sooner and you don’t have to fret over what he’s spending his money on.

What do you want more: to start over in your own home or to thwart him? If it’s the later then you have the wrong mindset, one in which he will always “win” because you let him in your head. You are currently paranoid about home doing some spring diy. You should be thinking about how you want to spend your spring.

candlemasbells · 15/04/2021 09:45

Id let him buy you out, she is hardly going to want to live in a house you chose.

stealthninjamum · 15/04/2021 09:49

Op I understand why it would be hard to sell it to him but until you’re divorced it’s still family money. By selling it to him you (as a family unit) would avoid paying estate agents, half the stamp duty and you would avoid a lot of the stresses of being in a chain etc.

Plus you might find the ow hates living in the marital house being surrounded by things you bought together. I have never been an ow but I can imagine once they’ve ‘won’ their ‘prize’ they’d be pretty insecure.

Original poster
Maze76 · 15/04/2021 18:47

Thank you all for your advice, you have given me a lot to think about and I’m grateful.

OP posts:
Elieza · 15/04/2021 18:58

Stealth has some excellent points re saving half stamp duty and estate agent costs. Worth further investigation to see how much that will be.

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