Me and my ex broke up 5 months ago, he decided to leave as he couldn’t handle my other 3 children being with someone else and me and my first ex having shared contact. He wanted me to have my children all the time or not atall which I wasn’t prepared to do!
The day we broke up, my older children were outside playing in the garden with next door so I grabbed them and dropped them to my brothers so they didn’t see or hear anything. When I got back he had taken our baby without my say so and gone his mums. After I returned home I phoned him constantly trying to find out what’s going on, he then got very angry and said I wasn’t going to see her again stating He didn’t want me to have our daughter around my kids/family he wanted better for her (he doesn’t like my family due to them having different opninons ideas and ways of living to him and my brother being friends with my ex whom he was before he even met me). His reasons, in my opinion are absolutely ridiculous.
A week after breaking up and meeting a few times, he finally let me see my daughter after saying I couldn’t then couldn’t for days, the only reason he agreed was because I said he was dangling her in front of me then snatching her away.
After this I was allowed to see her whenever he was free (only in his car). He also tried it on several times.
Now she’s allowed in my house only when he’s there, (he’s here a lot due to living with his parents and argues a lot with his mum) as he won’t allow her to see my children, I constantly have to drop them of to there dads when they come around, it’s very distressing for me and my other children who are left wondering what they have done wrong to not be allowed to see them. I’m constantly worried that if I say no to him, I’ll not see her for god knows how long, and I never know when I’ll see them due to when he’s working, or when I am. As you can imagine it’s very difficult.
He will not under and circumstances let me be alone with her, not even if he’s going in a supermarket. It makes me feel like crap I’m a good mum, every time I see her, she’s dirty, I have to change her with l her stuff at mine, most of its gone to his mums now. Everything she owns mine I brought myself when I was pregnant. He’ll often expect me to cook dinner for him etc, I use to cause I was worried he wouldn’t let me see her next time or would go funny with me so I wouldn’t see her.
I have applied to mediation which they have signed of for court forms as he’s stated he will never accept mediation. He will often tell me if I apply to court he will destroy anyone that comes in his way.
I have just applied to the court ( I haven’t up until now because I lost my job when we broke up as we worked at the same place and one of us had to leave) and I’ve just started a new job so it’s been very difficult financially!! I also pay £150 towards her a month as well as paying for everything she needs etc.
I just don’t know what to expect, where to go from here etc it’s been so so hard on me and my children emotionally , please somebody tell me that this not right? It's making me ill all the stress etc and he talks to me like s**t a lot, too but I feel like I have to put up with it.