How many of you deep down knew it was over before it began?

[luckyreds]

I'm coming to terms with this now. I think I always knew, but (somewhat cowardly) went along with it all anyway.

Years went by and cracks papered over. Now I'm in the toilet bowl for "following my heart" to begin with.

Me op, don't beat yourself up about it!

Me too. My XH is a drinker. He was always a drinker. I had very low self esteem and I hoped I could 'save' him but I think deep down I already knew I couldn't. I've learnt a lot!
It's reassuring to hear I'm not alone in this.

Me! I knew deep down it wouldn't work. Went ahead anyway, fooling myself I could handle it. Out the other side now thank goodness.

Same.

Yes, definitely relate to this!

When I look back I cannot believe how many warning signs there were, from the very beginning. Shouldn't have continued it for so many years.

It is upsetting, but I guess we live and learn.

Thankfully not married but almost 15years and 2 dc later it hurts to say I've always known deep down I'm on the road to nowhere..

@Tiddleypops ditto
Think I just went through the motions

Thank you guys. Pleased to hear it's not just me. Lessons learnt and will never ever do anything that doesn't sit right with me or 100% fulfill me going forward

Me too. I think I knew after a few months....stayed for 18 years! Wtf?

Me.

Caught him cheating on me when we were only a few months in. I forgave him.

He had an affair after a few years of marriage. I did not forgive that time.

It happens to the best of us OP. You will be ok.

Went into my marriage, knowing I would be getting divorced, don't beat yourself up, look forward to the rest of your life

I didn't know but I should have. He'd left me twice for other women before we got engaged .... somehow, in my naive, in love mind I didn't think this meant it would not succeed or even that that meant something bad about him or what he felt for me..... just told myself it was because we had met young. .

I am way wiser now.

I did go in in good faith, and was inexperienced in relationships, but at some level was unsure about him/us from the start. I thought sometimes you have to be glad of the good points and accept you can’t have it all, but in this case it was a mistake. After kids that became thunderingly obvious.

Me too! Together for 5 years before we got married. Caught him on a dating website 2 weeks before getting married but was pregnant, emotional and just too damn scared to back out. I look miserable in my wedding photos.

I knew it wouldn't work but at the same time I wanted to try and wanted him to stop all the shit he'd been doing before we even got married. Of course he didn't and it was another 7 years before I found the courage to file for divorce

Me. Hell me. It hurts. Why, just why.

Me. It wasn’t a bad marriage. Ten years together and then ten years married. Two small children. There were two things wrong, one he had an occasional very bad temper but it was enough for me to feel I was walking on eggshells shells and two after 20 years it just felt like an awfully long time to be with one person when you have just one life. I didn’t know for sure but when we got married I had a suspicion I wouldn’t stick with it for life. I’m one year post break up now and although things are challenging I have no regrets about leaving.

Cripes, I did. I knew he was ‘off’ I now realise he was a narcissist. I was utterly enthralled by him. I’ve paid a heavy price for that enthralment. I wasted 9 years. To my knowledge he had 3 emotionally significant affairs and approx 50 liaisons. Alcoholic too. I rue the day I met him.