Please help me work this out - mortgage/finance

[Ohno1]

H and I have separated. He moved out, I'm paying the mortgage on my own.
We were overpaying by about £100 a month., and I have continued that.

If I continue to overpay, there will be more equity and therefore eventually have to pay him more if I want to buy him out.

If I save that amount and dont overpay, I will have that in a savings account. And I guess it will be split in the divorce settlement.

So which should I do, overpay or save? I cant work out which, if either, would be better financially for me.
Thanks

Just keep it as cash or a friend relative keep it. That way it won't form part of the settlement . Def don't overpay

£100 cash out of the bank every month instead.

Is he paying to rent?
If so, your mortgage is is lieu of him having to pay rent
Personally I’d stop overpaying while you are working out divorce but savings ( and all other assets) will need to be declared

millymollymoomoo I'm not sure what you mean about mortgage in lieu of paying rent, please can you explain that?

I assume he is paying rent, but I don't know. He has moved in with his girlfriend. I don't know if she rents or owns, or what thier financial arrangements are.

I'm not keeping it as cash, I dont want all that in the house, it doesnt feel safe.

The best thing to do is agree the arrangement for the mortgage payments whilst separated. A reasonable default if that you should pay his share of the mortgage as you are benefiting from his share of the property and he is deprived of it. But he would then retain his interest in the property. In other words he is still entitled to a% of the value of the property. Overpaying would increase the equity share for both of you unless you agree otherwise.

Generically speaking the best thing you can do is deal with the divorce and splitting of assets ASAP. There’s no reason to accrue £’00s if you start the ball rolling to split the assets.

The source of your problem is being financially tied. It will create endless problems and stress for you.

Problem is, I can't afford to buy him out, and he cant afford to buy me out.

But I know it will have to happen at some point, so I want to work out the way to put myself in the best position when that time comes.

I'm happy to pay the mortgage on my own for now, I can afford it, it is v small. But to buy him out I'd need a mortgage bigger than I could get on my salary and bigger than I could afford each month.

If we sell, neither or if will have enough to buy again.

If you are both willing to stay financially tied then you should reach formal agreement on overpayments and what that means in terms of share when you finally sell up.

But the bottom line is you will have to buy out or sell up at some point. You can’t stay in this limbo for ever. His motivation to do this might be heavily influenced by his girlfriend and their aspirations as a couple.

Better to get something formal agreed before this happens.

If you are amicable and willing to set up an informal settlement you don't need to worry about splitting because you don't need to go to court. There's downsides because in theory either party can contest years later but we found having the flexibility to make the right decision for our family beneficial. I'm quite rare i am aware but we are still good friends

I know I should sort it, but I'm scared to rock the boat. It could end up with me and the kids having to move, no idea where to or how I'd finance that

I mean you won’t get a larger share as you are now paying the mortgage - because by moving out he has to pay rent plus his capital is tied up in the house

Of course how things are ultimately split will depend on multiple factors but unlikely based in him not paying mortgage now

Oh and if you are awarded a mesher, you’ll ( most likely) be expected to pay all the mortgage and his share of capital is simply deferred

I moved out and exh paid the mortgage until he decided to sell rather than buy me out. We took the amount owing from when I moved out and compared it to the amount owing when sold and he kept that proportion of the debt paid off in settlement. If that makes sense? I'd stop overpaying it for now and just have that money as excess.

It makes financial sense to overpay on a mortgage given low interest rates and rising prices. However because he still has a % interest he will benefit from the overpayment. That may or may not be fair if he is incurring more costs renting. It may also be more lucrative to you to carry on over paying compared to bugger all interest in a savings account or hidden in the tea caddy. A lot depends on the location and finances.

Do you have anything to lose by approaching him to talk about keeping the house for a period of time as a joint investment that benefits both of you and provides a home for your children. He might be willing to match the overpayment.

I don’t know your ex. But it’s very likely that the needs of the children and guilt along with a lot of self interest could persuade him to agree to keep his investment in the house for a period of time. Any new or future partners are going to want nest with him in their house. If he has already tied up his capital in an agreement with you that is not an option. That might just suit him for a while. But you need to get in his ear before anyone else.

There is always mutual ground in these things. It’s the children and seeing through a joint investment to get the best for both of you. That would give you both independence to buy on your own. Which is what a lot of divorced people want to do to avoid being where you both are.