Examples of 60/40 or 70/30 residency arrangements

[Earlgrey19]

Hi there,
I’d be really grateful if you could give me examples of your residency arrangements that work well for you if you have a 70/30 or 60/40 time split for the kids. Mine are young age 6 and age 3 so don’t want them to go too long without seeing either parent.
DH is very difficult to have exploratory conversations with — as soon as I suggest anything it is set in stone by him as if there’s no going back — so I need to have some good ideas going into the conversation! Thanks

You could go for every other weekend, the weekend that the kids aren’t at dads they spend two nights there during the week?

So it would be Monday - Thursday at mums, Friday / Saturday at dads, back mums Sunday. Then the next week two nights that suits at dads so like a wed or Thursday night? That way dad has two nights each week?

www.custodyxchange.com/topics/schedules/70-30/5-examples.php

It's an American site, so terminology (custody/visitation) isn't what we use in the UK. But the example schedules are useful.

Thanks both, that’s helpful

Could mediation be an option for you to discuss these things? My STBXH is incredibly hard to negotiate with so that's the next step we are taking

Consistency is the most important thing so kids know where they are sleeping when
Mon, Tues, Wed - Mum
Thursday - Dad
Fri, sat, sun wk 1 - mum wk 2 - dad
That would be 64:36.

I had a disastrous 50:50 because whilst my DD always knew where she would be sleeping with me, her Dad messed her around could be his house, his partners house or grandmas she never knew where she would be sleeping.

Hi OP, my dcs are older but do to their dad's crapness I'm also looking at donething like this. He's assuming 50:50 so will not be pleased.

Currently we do:

He has kids
Sat 4pm to Sun 4pm
Wed after school and evening
Tue he has one child after school and evening

This works pretty well.

In our case, Dad had:

Term-time:
Alternate weekends - collect from school on Friday, take to school on Monday.
Every Tuesday night.

School holidays: 50/50.

This worked out as pretty much exactly 60/40 overall (it was 150 nights a year).

Ours is currently short turn around, it works for our kids but know its not for everyone. Also, he's only down the road so not a huge deal on transition days.

Mon - me
Tue, Wed - him
Thurs, Fri - me
Sat him
Sun me

Weekends have optional flex so can have a weekend away with or without them as needed.

It'll evolve but for now it works.