Long time lurker but first post, I'm after some advice regarding possible separation.
Together for 22 years married for 13 years, 3 children 1 secondary 2 primary. Started an IVA 3 years ago so half way through.
Relationship been on the rocks for over a year, talked of separation last summer but carried on but now I'm at the point I'm ready to call it a day, not been happy for a long time.
But the problem is he won't leave the house as it's not his choice he wants to carry on the relationship, he doesn't really have anywhere to go (won't go to parents) and obviously I don't want to leave the house. With the IVA I think we would struggle to rent tbh which limits our options. We could sell the house, there is equity but once the IVA is paid there wouldn't be a great deal left poss £20k each which wouldn't be enough for a deposit on a new house and both could rent but again with the IVA would that be possible, even with a large deposit and say 6 months rent in advance. Can't see how that would work logistically either as wouldn't get money until property sold but would need somewhere to go before funds come through. If we settled the IVA early our credit would still be trashed until the 6 years is up.
Also renting is quite expensive around here especially a house big enough for us both to have 3 kids shared as he would want to. Neither of us are on a bad wage but rent would eat a big chunk of that up and leave DH with little left which is his concern.
I suppose what I'm asking is can any advice, the only option I can seen is staying together or living amicably for the remaining 3 years until the IVA is settled.
We don't really have family around who could take us on a long term basis, or lend us lineup either for rent in advance etc
Thanks in advance