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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Mediation agreement

3 replies

sophmum31 · 23/03/2021 22:28

Hi,

I had a second mediation session today to try to come with an agreement on finances. It was an financially abusive situation where stbx ensured he squirrelled away all the money and left me with access to nothing. Every single penny I did have went on the children. Our oldest child is almost 15 and married for 11 years.

The house is in his sole name with equity of £500k. There are savings of £190k. He is claiming £129k savings were pre marital (no proof) and a loan from his parents of £75k (although no payments back to them for over 6 years). My solicitor says worst case I should get 50% of equity and 50% of the post marital savings of £61k. (£280k) He has offered £225k and now is being all angry man that I am money grabbing as I've asked for 50/50 of everything.

I'm thinking we are so far apart and with his history there is never going to be an agreement that is in anyway fair to me and the children. I've found mediation to be infuriating as he can't answer a single question with a straight answer and every answer that is given is designed to discredit me in some way. Is it even worth pursuing mediation? How long does it take to go to court? We've already spend £12k between us on solicitors fees due to him bullying me without even a proper offer on the table!

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 24/03/2021 06:47

Ask your solicitor, but on that info, I would say get issued. And ensure your solicitor has registered a home rights notice on the house.

HosannainExcelSheets · 25/03/2021 07:54

No. You can't mediate successfully with someone who has been abusive. If he's not providing proof you need, and offering less than your solicitor says it the worst case scenario that you'd get in court, then go to court. You can self represent and direct access va barrister to save on legal fees.

I'd personally just file a Form A in court today and get the ball rolling. Look into whether you need a forensic accountant or other expert to try to get more information from him.

If he's a high earners then apply for interim maintenance now. And talk to your solicitor about freezing orders if you think he will hide more money.

Palavah · 25/03/2021 08:17

Don't forget pension

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