Contact arrangements for 50/50

[Rainbowdropz]

Hi all,

I've recently been looking online at websites and forums for child contact arrangements. A bit of a back story, I proposed a 5,5,2,2 rota to my stbxh and he refused. We have a current interim arrangement in place which means weekends I have my son and he has him during the week. He has stated that he does not want this to change and I suspect it's because he has weekends to himself. Due to this we now have a final hearing in a few months time. The judge at our hearing wasn't too happy with the suggestion of our son spending two nights with one parent in regards to the 5,5,2,2 proposal so ideally I need a minimum of 3 nights with one parent. Are there any 50/50 arrangements that have alternating weekends? I'm against the one week on and off as we both would like to see him in the week. I've been sat here trying to Google etc. And I cannot think of anything.

Please help me.

Hi Op - if your ex doesn’t want him at the weekend.. you could suggest the following:

Week 1 ; Mon -Dad from school, Tues - Dad, Weds - Dad , Thurs - mum from school, Fri - mum, Sat -mum, Sunday - dad at lunch time or in the am
Week 2- Mon - dad, tues - dad, wed -dad, mum - thurs, mum - fri , mum -sat, mum -Sunday

So DC is always at Dads every mon / tues / weds, mums every Thurs / fri and sat then the Sunday is alternate at each house?

www.ourfamilywizard.co.uk/blog/5050-residence-what-does-look#:~:text=Alternating%20weeks%20are%20one%20of,robust%20relationships%20with%20their%20children.

www.custodyxchange.com/topics/schedules/50-50/7-examples.php

Here are some examples.

Could you do week on week off but he spends
1 night in the week with the other parent? So week 1 with Mum, Thursday night at Dads. Week 2 at Dads, Thursday night at mums. We did 50/50 with my SC and 50/50 worked really well for us.

We do Mon and Tues with me, weds I drop at school he picks up so weds and Thurs night with him, then we alternate weekends.

@Forevernamechange12333333

Hi Op - if your ex doesn’t want him at the weekend.. you could suggest the following:

Week 1 ; Mon -Dad from school, Tues - Dad, Weds - Dad , Thurs - mum from school, Fri - mum, Sat -mum, Sunday - dad at lunch time or in the am
Week 2- Mon - dad, tues - dad, wed -dad, mum - thurs, mum - fri , mum -sat, mum -Sunday

So DC is always at Dads every mon / tues / weds, mums every Thurs / fri and sat then the Sunday is alternate at each house?

Thank you @Forevernamechange12333333. I was trying to get something for both the Saturday and Sunday, as before coronavirus I would go to stay with family with my son, so he'd get to see his cousin and aunts etc. Thank you for the suggestion though.

@HosannainExcelSheets

www.ourfamilywizard.co.uk/blog/5050-residence-what-does-look#:~:text=Alternating%20weeks%20are%20one%20of,robust%20relationships%20with%20their%20children.

www.custodyxchange.com/topics/schedules/50-50/7-examples.php

Here are some examples.

@HosannainExcelSheets thank you so much, this website looks extremely useful. I appreciate it.

@Justbecause88

Could you do week on week off but he spends 1 night in the week with the other parent? So week 1 with Mum, Thursday night at Dads. Week 2 at Dads, Thursday night at mums. We did 50/50 with my SC and 50/50 worked really well for us.

In court the judge and cafcass officer both voiced concerns on my son staying for two nights in one home, so I know suggesting one will be a no go. Thank you for the suggestion though.

Thank you @MotherForker , unfortunately this is similar to the 5,5,2,2 and the judge and cafcass officer raised concerns about my son staying anywhere for 2 nights, they didn't feel it was stable and that he would be moving too much in the week. Thank you though.

www.custodyxchange.com/topics/schedules/50-50/7-examples.php

i found this the most useful....you coud use a 4343 to alternate the weekend with each parent no problem.

Does it have to be 50/50. It's harder to make a good, stable set up like this when both parents aren't communicating well and working together in the children's interests. Could you suggest a different split?

@justanotherkid

www.custodyxchange.com/topics/schedules/50-50/7-examples.php

i found this the most useful....you coud use a 4343 to alternate the weekend with each parent no problem.

@justanotherkid I was looking at this one earlier and it looks like a good one. I will note this one down and see how it goes. Thank you

@HosannainExcelSheets

Does it have to be 50/50. It's harder to make a good, stable set up like this when both parents aren't communicating well and working together in the children's interests. Could you suggest a different split?

@HosannainExcelSheets I'm planning to use this as a back up, as the cafcass officer was the one who recommended 50/50 split. I believe I should have at least 4 days and dad 3. The whole thing is draining mentally and that's even before I think about my finance case.

How old is ds? One reason we do it this way is my dd is only 8 and therefore shorter periods were suggested.

@MotherForker

How old is ds? One reason we do it this way is my dd is only 8 and therefore shorter periods were suggested.

@MotherForker my ds is 6. Based on what was said at the hearing, two nights needs to be avoided apparently.

Could you suggest every other weekend, Friday after school to Monday morning drop off? And one mid week tea but not overnight stay? That's a fairly common, stable set up.

It works for my DC (they do every other Friday and Saturday with ex, and Wednesdays after school but sleep here). We started this when oldest was 7 and youngest was 4.

Does it have to be 50/50 sounds like it would be quite unsettling for your son which is why the judge is saying 2 nights won't be good for your son

@HosannainExcelSheets

Could you suggest every other weekend, Friday after school to Monday morning drop off? And one mid week tea but not overnight stay? That's a fairly common, stable set up.

It works for my DC (they do every other Friday and Saturday with ex, and Wednesdays after school but sleep here). We started this when oldest was 7 and youngest was 4.

@hosannainexcelsheets the section 7 report pushed for a shared care arrangement, although I don't think this should be the case. It's a tricky one, but I appreciate your suggestion. Thank you.

@Wishitsnows

Does it have to be 50/50 sounds like it would be quite unsettling for your son which is why the judge is saying 2 nights won't be good for your son

@Wishitsnows I honestky don't want a 50/50 split. I think it would be better at the least if I had my son for 4 nights and his dad three. I'm hoping my barrister will help me fight this at the final hearing. I've been my ds primary carer.