How to protect my finances on divorce

[Carandi]

I'm in the process of 'getting my ducks in a row' prior to seeking a divorce. Married 30 years to a financially and emotionally abusive husband. I have two DDs who are 20 and 22 who still live with me.

During most of our marriage my H has kept his money in a separate account to try and hide what he earns. I do know though that he has earned way more than me during our marriage, but that hasn't stopped him insisting I pay half of everything, even when on mat leave.

I had a job that paid well until I was made redundant last September and I've built up a pension of almost £400K (I'm 57). Husband has always been self employed and chose not to invest well into a pension, preferring to spend his money on cars, motorbikes, golf and other stuff for himself. Now, having gone through paperwork, I find his two pensions are worth less than £100K together. For disclosure he also has savings of £150K from an inheritance. I have £40K from redundancy.

I'm worried that if we divorce he'll go after half my pension. As he's squandered his money over the years (on himself) rather than investing then obviously I'd like to prevent this. What are my options? Anyone been here? I've suffered for years with this man and I'm damned if he's going to bleed me dry once I leave him.

He will need to proved a valuation of all his assets, including vehicles. If you can get information about them in advance, that might help.

A 50/50 split is usually what happens, as far as I understand it, so you may be OK if his assets are worth about 200k, plus a split in the equity in the house.

I'm no solicitor, however!

Use some of your £40k to hire a good solicitor. You may be able to negotiate a financial settlement whereby he keeps his inheritance, assets, a larger share of the house equity etc in return for not touching your pension. He sounds as though he’s more interested in immediate gain over planning for a secure future, keeping all his cash may well appeal to him. It might not feel fair to have to do that, but divorce rarely does feel fair and sometimes the best thing is just to accept it and focus on how brilliant things are going to be in the future once you no longer have to be married to him.

You’ll need to declare it
All assets and liabilities in anyone’s name need declaring
Then you argue why you should receive a certain %

His savings, pensions, car are probably about 150k less than your pension and redundancy payment so it may not be too bad. You may get to keep all your pension.

I think your only option is to take less equity equal to the amount of your pension and leave him with his pensions and savings. You can negotiate the way the split is made - it's not strictly 50/50 on everything you can take more in one area and less in another if that makes sense

A pension is valued less in an asset split than its actual value so it may be worth 400k but when in the pot it might be valued at 350 if that makes sense. Take photos of all his bank statements if he’s been hiding cash and get a good solicitor!

You'll.need a good lawyer you do not get brownie points for being the saver as I found out .
Its unfair and it hurts .
Prepare for the injustice if it all.

You need to see a solicitor but yes, he could be entitled to half or a portion of your pension. Same rules apply to men and women.

My exh spent his money on cars and hobbies and he did get a substantial share of my pension. Don’t bother saving during your separation as he will get a share of that too.