Ex definitely lying in financial proceedings

[HosannainExcelSheets]

Any advice welcome. My exH is probably moderately financially abusive, be we shared truthful information with me when we were married, and I know and can prove some lies on his form E and that he lied at the FDA. Ex runs own limited company.

I'm pretty financially independent but have a disabled child and suffer from a progressive disease. I want the divorce resolved rather than to drag on.

I guess my question is, given that I know I will never get a fully accurate and truthful financial disclosure, when do I stop caring and just get on with making am offer or accepting an offer? Or should I push to get to the "truth".

How much will a judge take into account that I know there's a lot of cash in hand work etc but can't prove any of it? Or do I just give up and let him lie and "win", but my prize is that I get divorced which is what I want.

I think it would help if you could clarify what you can prove and how you can prove it. It’s unclear whether you have evidence or knowledge of cash in hand work.

You also need to think about the implications of any allegations you make in court. Would this have a long term impact on his business and therefore on maintenance? Are other people going to be impacted? Do you expose yourself in these allegations?

If you're talking serious amounts of money you could ask a judge to allow you to hire a forensic accountant. It will cost you though.

If you've got enough money to walk away and start again, it might be worth doing just that. It's only money

I know about "hidden" bank accounts because I have the account numbers memorised. It's complicated, but for at least one account he accidentally sent me a pic of the kids with a statement in the background that I could read.

I can't prove the cash in hand work, even though I know it happens I have nothing to prove it with.

HMRC issues are separated from family proceedings as far as I know, which are heard in private. And I'm not going to get SM because we nominally earn the same. CM could drop, but I think I could handle that eventuality. Anyway, he's claiming CM is calculated on his salary (not dividends) so it's not much anyway based on £12k a year of declared income.

It's only money is my main feeling, but I'm also furious that he's going to get away with lying.

Hidden accounts add up to more than what he'd admitting to, so it is significant.

Hidden accounts add up to more than what he'd admitting to

how much more?

@StephenBelafonte

Hidden accounts add up to more than what he'd admitting to

how much more?

Probably not enough to justify a forensic accountant. My main worry is that if I know about some undeclared accounts, there could be others I'd never know about.

I guess I probably need to make peace with never knowing the truth. And he will get away with some dishonesty.

He may get away with dishonesty but you get away with the rest of your life free of financial abuse. You will get your divorce, which is all you really want, and in the process can report your ex to HMRC for fraud (because cash in hand income is still income and it’s fraudulent to hide your income from HMRC). Pushing for his other bank accounts would do nothing but achieve a form of revenge, reporting the fraud will still be a form of revenge against his lies if that’s what you’re seeking.

@ChancesWhatChances - wise words. I don't want to hold on to anger about this. My life is so much more than money.

Probably not enough to justify a forensic accountant

I think a forensic accountant would charge about £2k for a case like this so your basically saying the hidden accounts contain about £4k, which would wipe out any profit you made.

Lying about £4k is actually quite a small lie. I'm not saying its OK to lie, i'm just saying I wouldn't get het up about such a small amount.

@StephenBelafonte. Oh, I hadn't realised it was so little. ExH said it would be c£20k.

No, it's more like 50x that much that I've already uncovered. I don't know how much more there is though, and what I do know about that is still undeclared would be cash.

I'll ask my solicitor if a forensic accountant would be able to trace cash.