Waitingfor2025.
Another thing....there is no such thing as maintenance anymore!
You can apply for spousal support, but as abuse is in the mix, the court will usually decide on ‘a clean break’ basis.
Again, don’t wait get on to the CSA, tell them it’s abuse, it stops charges. Do it now, don’t wait. I was advised to wait, then he alienated my child, she left home, he is now paying a third party to raise our daughter and I get NO payments at all, if I had continued with the CSA claim, I WOULD have been entitled.
Be thankful that you have some straight forward advice, the pitfalls are many!
Generally speaking it goes like this: who had what before you married, what did you bring to the marriage, what was your role during the marriage, what did you COLLECTIVELY accrue during the marriage, how will the children be best served, and who gets what.
The children are ALWAYS a courts first concern.
I strongly suggest you start a journal and record everything that he says and does/ not do. I started mine as a place to dump emotionally, it was worth is weight in gold as evidence. My ex resorted to physical abuse in the end, that’s after threatening to kill me, in earnest, twice.
So, be prepared, the police will want evidence, that can mean asking your eldest to make a report against their dad! If you have friends who are willing to speak up all the better.
They will Involve children’s services, don’t be afraid, they were a great help. They can also give you womens aid details etc.
Ask your lawyer about a merscher order, it’s a court order that allows you to stay in the house until the youngest is 18, he has to pay half!
This journey is hard, it takes a long time to get back to you, it’s stressful, upsetting, and belittling. Hard as it is, it’s worth it.
Superwoman232:
My advice is as above, do everything as quickly and quietly as you can. Make sure you have your duck in a row, before you act.
Best laid plans!
Ladies, I wish you courage, strength and determination ❤️