Divorcing someone with a mental illness, advice needed please.

[Rosie128]

Can anyone offer me advice regarding sharing the equity from the family home when the husband is mentally disabled but I am bringing up our child and working full time? I have been paying the mortgage and all the bills for over a year now. My husband wants a 50/50 split. We have been married for six years but separated for two. A brain operation has caused him to have memory problems and issues with anger and aggression towards our young child. The situation was making me ill and he went to stay with his father until he felt he could return to family life. He has never asked to return as he is happy there. It is highly unlikely that he will ever work again. He is now divorcing me saying I do not care about him. My mortgage affordability means I will only be able to afford a small starter home in a not so nice area. He receives just over £1000 a month in benefits. My solicitor says my sons needs come first but she does not seem to have knowledge of the outcomes of any cases such as mine. Sadly his father does not seem to mind wether he has contact with his son or not. He keeps threatening me with court and says he would win as he is disabled. Should I agree to sell the house and give him half the equity and take on a big mortgage creating financial uncertainty for mine and our sons future or should I ask for a greater split as I will always have to provide for our son. He is not interested in hobbies or going out and enjoys spending his days watching television. I am not sure what he would do with a lump sum whereas It would be so valuable to me as a deposit for another home. I paid all the deposit and legal fees for our house as my husband did not have any savings when we met. I have used all of a small inheritance from my Grandmother to keep us out of debt since his illness. What do you think the decision of the Court would be if I have to go down that road?

I think the courts priority will be

1. Your son
2. Your ill ex husband
3. You

So I think you should take 50/50 equity even if it means stretching yourself in order to buy a home. Your husband is obviously never going to work again and could even try to push for a 70/30 or 80/20 split in his favour, to meet his care needs.

Surely as the OP is RP the split would be more in her favour?

The split doesn't NEED to be in the OPs favour because she can still afford to purchase a property if they divide the assets 50/50. It's all done on a NEEDS basis. Her son will be adequately housed if the OP gets 50% of the assets.

Disabled people who will never work again also have needs. The OP is healthy and capable of working and supporting herself and her son. The ex isn't.

OP please see a family solicitor, no one can advise you on this on here.

OP I'd really recommend paying for a couple of hours of initial solicitor's advice re this, which is what I've done to get a steer on a divorce settlement. It cost me £200 was worth every penny. I did it via video with a solicitor recommended by a friend - pm me if you want their details.

My situation is tricky with a soon to be ex with a severe mental illness, sympathies.