Help needed with divorce and equity

[Rosie128]

Can anyone offer me advice regarding sharing the equity from the family home when the husband is mentally disabled but I am bringing up our child and working full time? My husband wants a 50/50 split. We have been married for six years but separated for two. A brain operation has caused him to have memory problems and issues with anger and aggression towards our young child. The situation was making me ill and went to stay with his father until he felt he could return to family life. He did this willingly and is happy there. He is now divorcing me saying I do not care about him. My mortgage affordability means I will only be able to afford a small starter home in a not so nice area. He receives just over £1000 a month in benefits. My solicitor says my sons needs come first. Sadly his father does not seem to mind wether he has contact with his son or not. He keeps threatening me with court and says he would win as he is disabled. Should I agree to give him half the equity and take on a big mortgage creating financial uncertainty for mine and our sons future or should I ask for a 40/60 split? He is not interested in hobbies or going out and enjoys spending his days watching television. I am not sure what he would do with a lump sum and since his illness he has been reckless with money investing in scams and buying expensive and unnecessary items.

Take his disability out of this, the divorce is to ensure that both parties, and particularly the child is looked after. His disability benefits mean that, that side of things has been covered.

I agree with your solicitor, this is about you and what's best for your dc. Let him take it to court. I suspect might be quite disappointed with the outcome.

You might be best off proposing to keep all the equity but get no maintenance. No idea if he would take it or it would be worth it for you

I'm recently divorced and I vaguely remember there being some sort of caveat regarding one partner needing ongoing support due to disability.

What is your solicitor recommending?

I'm not sure it would be binding if you agreed to go for no maintenance as ongoing child arrangements are considered separate to divorce asset splits I think.

There's nothing to stop you starting at 60/40 and going from there

If he’s angry and aggressive with your son surely it’s not sad but a big relief he won’t pursue contact? Would you trust him to behave in a caring, appropriate, safe way? Doesn’t sound like your child will much if all he does is watch tv and gets into rages. It’s awful he’s ill because of his injury and surgery but your child’s safely has to come first.

This is really complicated and you should get a specialist solicitor involved. His impulsive behaviour with money may mean he's better provided for if his part goes into a trust. Does he have capacity still?

Regarding you and your son, the child's needs will come first. The court will make sure you are appropriately and securely housed.

From what you've said, mediation band negotiated settlement sound impossible. I'd accept that you need a court to help and crack on.