How to justify needs

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Hey,

Currently going through financial mediation but it’s really not going well as stbx is not proposing a fair settlement so I am trying to prepare myself for getting solicitors involved.

Can I ask if anyone has any suggestions to justify more than a 50% split of assets.

A bit of context we have 8yr old, I have been the primary carer and we have agreed that he’ll stay with me 5 nights and with ex 2 per week

My salary is £30k & stbx salary is over double mine at £65k plus up to 18% bonus.

What settlement is your STBX proposing?

60/40 equity no pension or no equity from other house.

Fmh equity £273k

Pension values stbx £345k and me & £88k

Equity from other btl property £45k

with what he proposes you aren't even getting 50/50.

50/50 of everything would be
Total Pot - £751, so 50% = £375k
including equality of pension pots.

He is proposing
You - £163.8k house equity, £88k pension = £251.8k
Him - £109.2 fmh, £45 btl and £345 pension = £499.2k

thats about 1/3 you and 2/3 him.

Pension pots aren't worth the same as cash, but this is no where near 50/50. How is he justifying this?

I know it’s not 50/50

He’s said that I need to justify why I need his pension and he doesn’t want his pension touching, also he was putting into the pension before we met and that his offer of 60% takes into account pension.

I have suggested an actuary but he has said no.

How long have you been married? If less than 10 years they would take into account assets prior to marriage so if the btl was his former home and you have never lived there, it could be disregarded. Just bare this in mind - also is 60% of family home enough to let you buy a suitable house? I would push for some pension but I'm assuming it was also accumulated prior to marriage?

We’ve been married 11 years and cohabitating 2 years before that.

The btl was completed on the day we started dating and 6 months later stbx moved in with me so no I haven’t lived there but mainenance etc has come from joint money.

Yes some pension was accumulated before marriage ( only £4.5k was transferred in) but I have had confirmation only an additional 2 years was added to his pension when he transferred in and he only contributed for 2 years prior to us getting together on top of that.

Think you definitely need a solicitor. If his pension is defined benefit, under the PAG guidelines 2019 financial and legal advice is recommended for any pensions of this size. That may include actuarial valuation (esp in the case of DB and if part of that pension acquired before marriage). A judge would expect to see evidence of the advice before signing off on a Final Consent order and the accompanying D81. Depending on your ages the pension values would be reduced by anything between 20 and 40% but that still leaves a big gap between the two pensions. If a more equitable pension share is deemed fair you could always both look at the option of offsetting pension differential against equity. Mediators can't offer legal advice but they should have flagged up the need for it in relation to the larger pension at the very least.

Thanks for this. Yes 2 of the pensions are db

The mediator has mentioned it but stbx still doesn’t want it including.

I have got a solicitor and he has advised the same that we need an actuary and I have said the same in the sessions but stbx is having none of it he just doesn’t want his pension touching and if I want to include it he will push it down the courts route and the offer of 60% of the house will be taken away. So he now wants me to come up within a figure of equity without touching his pension but I don’t know how to even come up with a figure or even if I do I don’t think he would accept it as I proposed a 65% equity split with pension sharing which he rejected.

I have told him that if it goes to court we will need to get an actuary anyway but he’s threatening with the costs associated with going to court.

It will cost around £2k for an actuary to look at this.

I'd go in with - you keep the BTL, I'll have 100% marital home and we'll leave the pensions out of it.

Sorry that wasn't clearly worded - YOU keep 100% marital home (with potential to negotiate to 90-95% to help give him a deposit. HE keeps the BTL (which he could sell, or move in to?) then you'll leave the pension alone. How much mortgage is left on your marital home? Can you afford it without him?

Thanks for this there is approx £190k left and no I couldn’t afford it but with the equity left that would provide me with enough to buy a smaller property with very little mortgage.

Any ideas how I justify my needs? Stbx is being very analytical about everything and even wanted me to justify what I will be spending minimum cms payments on!!

I would propose keeping the marital home and your own pension as a final offer

And go through CMS for child support

Can you manage the mortgage with your salary/child benefit/child support?

I don't think he'll get more out of you by going to court ...

Honestly I think you do need an actuary. Pensions that size, and with DB...

My STBEX also wanted to keep his pensions out of it (and yet have some of mine!). He wouldn't even get CETVs in mediation and I ended up having to issue Form A and take it through Court to force disclosure. He has now had to agree to an actuary report.

His proposal is very unfair. You are primary carer for an 8 year old and that has to be taken into account.

I think you should go through court. Your ex isn't thinking about your needs at all. A court will, and will start from a position that it's 50/50 of everything.

I was in a similar situation as you OP. My Ex made it clear that his pension was not up for negotiation so I pushed for all of the available capital and kept my own DB pension.

If I were you I'd go for 100% of the FMH, keep your own pension, and push for the BTL. This would give you just under 55% and him 45% which would be fair given the income disparity and you'll be doing majority childcare.