Should I move out?

[Justalonelychick]

I'm debating whether to move out of the family home.
I don't want my kids to suffer through a separation (although we basically already are separated) but I'm over feeling bad about myself all the time. DH (married 10yrs) says he loves me but he is emotionally unavailable and isn't interested in intimacy any more.
I moved into the spare room about a year ago basically because I couldn't see the point in sharing a room together any more with his sporadic interest in sex over the last 6yrs (since kids came along) and his snoring. But it means we've moved into the friendship zone. That seems to work OK with the kids and bills and all but I don't really feel fulfilled. Like, when someone is not attracted to you, you always have to remind yourself that doesn't mean you're not beautiful and it hurts even more when it's the person that should desire you the most. So I guess I'm at an all or nothing stage, I either want him to love me like he used to before having kids or I'd rather be on my own and not banging my head against that wall any more.
Sorry for the rambling. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been through this and if they stayed or if they went?

No you should not move out. You should agree on a divorce and sell the house and buy one each.

Why should you move out and he remain?

There's no way I could afford the mortgage, and he won't agree to a divorce out of pride. It will have to be me making the decision to end it because he would let this drag on forever. Ideally he would buy me out of my stake to the house, but I would have to rent somewhere until that could be sorted out.

He doesn't have to agree to a divorce. You can proceed anyway.

You're entitled to half of the proceeds of the house. You need legal advice. Do you have access to money to pay for that?

Not yet. I'm going to set up my own bank account and start putting money aside.

Stall the ball rolling with the divorce on grounds for unreasonable behaviour. You don't need to move out to do that.

Have you got a job?

I currently only work 2 days a week but have potential to work more. I dropped to part-time to pick up most of the child rearing responsibilities when he started to emotionally withdraw and focus on his job.

Can you start to pick up more work days ASAP? The sooner you get some money put away, the sooner you can really begin to live.

DO NOT leave the house though. I know a woman who did that and it took her a long time to get any money from the house as he made it extremely difficult for her.

Yeah, I think you're right. At the moment my hope that things will improve keeps us in this ugly cycle and stops me from becoming more independent. I need to sort out my work and finances. Afterall, at this stage all it would take is for him to change his mind and say yes let's properly separate and I'm stuffed.