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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Separation

2 replies

Dljs · 24/02/2021 12:17

Hi..... just after some words of wisdom or advice about life in general.... my partner and i have been together for 10 years.... and have a beautiful 6 year old girl...who is everything to us. Around 3 years ago we seperated but decided to give it another go. We have always had a rocky relationship as ive always felt.... that although he is a good person, loving father... ive never felt a priority as such.... as he likes to have his own time... to do things.... more than family time. However.... last year we decided to try for another child... although he said he wanted.... i could tell he wasnt overly eager...i got pregnant but had miscarriage... which he didnt seem too upset about. We have always had trust issues in our relationship. Following this i pushed to keep trying and finally got pregnant again in November 2019 which in all honesty.... i was in mixed emotions about as i knew our relationship wasnt great. He is 35.. i have just turned 40. Over the next few months i made the most regretful decision ever to have a termination as i thought that eventually we would seperate.... as i think we both knew that it wasnt right for us. That was the worst decision ever... as i am battling with the guilt and shame of it ... and somedays it is just horrendous.... to think of what ive done. I am so deeply regretful... i dont see how i can ever accept what ive done. We are now in the process of separating .... as understandably...there is no going back following this. I just cant seem to understand how i could of done what i did.... i was so worried of being on my own with two children... and also felt that i was pushing him... although i sensed he wanted a child... but the relationship wasnt right. Everything is such a mess... and i am just blaming myself for everything.....

OP posts:
NotAgainNoMore · 06/03/2021 00:40

I understand the pain of having a miscarriage and wanting nothing more than to get pregnant again. The hormones were driving you. You made an incredibly tough decision to terminate when you knew the relationship was over. Give yourself a break, be kind to yourself. You did it for selfless (not selfish) reasons. Hopefully the pain will recede in time and maybe join some online forums with other like-minded women going through this. Flowers

Dljs · 06/03/2021 11:54

Thank you so much for your reply. A lot has happened in the past month. I lost my stepmother aged 52 a few weeks ago, while we have been arguing at home with him putting pressure on me to leave. He has met someone else who is obviously engrossed in. He has deeply hurt me by putting this pressure on me now, when my family are devastated and grieving. I have now just moved myself and our daughter to my mums small house while he is happily sat at home (because its his house) a 4 bed family home. Completely breaks my heart, while im organising to put stuff in storage till i can buy a home for myself and my daughter. Its strange how men can become complete strangers to you, when they emotionally disconnect from you. Feel like my life is a complete mess. I’m trying to support my daughter through this change, but feel like im completely useless at the moment between grieving, moving from my home etc. While he is completely over it all, careless and ready to move on. Just cant see any positivity at the moment. X

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