Hi..... just after some words of wisdom or advice about life in general.... my partner and i have been together for 10 years.... and have a beautiful 6 year old girl...who is everything to us. Around 3 years ago we seperated but decided to give it another go. We have always had a rocky relationship as ive always felt.... that although he is a good person, loving father... ive never felt a priority as such.... as he likes to have his own time... to do things.... more than family time. However.... last year we decided to try for another child... although he said he wanted.... i could tell he wasnt overly eager...i got pregnant but had miscarriage... which he didnt seem too upset about. We have always had trust issues in our relationship. Following this i pushed to keep trying and finally got pregnant again in November 2019 which in all honesty.... i was in mixed emotions about as i knew our relationship wasnt great. He is 35.. i have just turned 40. Over the next few months i made the most regretful decision ever to have a termination as i thought that eventually we would seperate.... as i think we both knew that it wasnt right for us. That was the worst decision ever... as i am battling with the guilt and shame of it ... and somedays it is just horrendous.... to think of what ive done. I am so deeply regretful... i dont see how i can ever accept what ive done. We are now in the process of separating .... as understandably...there is no going back following this. I just cant seem to understand how i could of done what i did.... i was so worried of being on my own with two children... and also felt that i was pushing him... although i sensed he wanted a child... but the relationship wasnt right. Everything is such a mess... and i am just blaming myself for everything.....