Abusive ex says our house is his?

[QuietLucy]

Hi all. I hope I can get some advice, this is making me very anxious.

Ex husband and I bought a house together in the early 00's so quite a while ago. I worked sporadically part-time but mostly raised our baby who is now 19.
I ended the relationship (he was not very nice to me including forced sex) intending to do it all properly but I'm disabled and well, not great with things in general. He threw me out with a couple of suitcases. We'd been married 7 years by this point but I did file for divorce soon after. I ended up by myself in a hostel, got a crap job in a shop and eventually remarried someone nice.
I am still on the mortgage and deeds to my old house. My ex will
not discuss it, will not buy me out, will not mediate or say anything beyond things like 'I warned you you would lose everything for leaving'. It's true; he poisoned my son against me despite my efforts but now I can't even buy a property with my husband. I 'own' this other house, I can't see what I can do about it and I am really confused and worried. I don't have thousands for a solicitor. We are barely above water with my disability and having to spend huge amounts on rent.
What do I do? Where do I even start?

When you got divorced how did you do it? You'd should have had a financial order abs the matter of the house included- if you're on the mortgage and deeds then you still own it jointly. You can have a free 30 minutes with a solicitor so use it fir some advice

You can’t get 30 minutes free with a solicitor. It doesn’t work like that. SOME solicitors offer a free initial discussion. But you won’t get advice from it. It will simply tell you if you want to go forwards with that solicitors.

However, OP, you definitely need to get legal advice. Which won’t be free but should help you move forward.

Wasnt the house dealt with as part of the divorce settlement?

And forced sex is rape - would you consider bringing this to the police?

Hi, no, I did a diy divorce. The house was not mentioned. I'm on the deeds and mortgage, I checked. I think he is using the situation to still have some control and contact with me - he agrees a solution then reneges.

I don't want to discuss the forced/coerced stuff with police, thank you for caring to ask though. I just mention it to add context to why I left with so little.

Why would you not have mentioned the house in a DIY divorce? Presumably it was your biggest joint asset?

Do you have a copy of your divorce petition?

Legal section on here might be able to find out the process. Normally in a divorce if division of assets isn't agreed you go to court and the judge decides. They have power to force a sale of the house so that you can get your share. Where (not UK) I live if you're financial separation isn't completed within a year after your divorce you no longer have recourse to family law courts and would have to find another way to reach a settlement.

As above, I really think you need a solicitor. It needn't cost thousands. But you need to find out where you stand.

How were the finances dealt with in your divorce? Sounds like there was no Consent Order?

As above, you can get half hour free with a lot of solicitors but a more in depth appointment will give you a better idea where you stand and what your options are.

In that half hour, I'm sure the solicitor would be able to give you an idea how many hours you'd need to get to x point or have clarity on y - and you can work out what you want to do.

You could just budget yourself x number of hours and decide what to do once you know where you stand legally.

Good luck.

No, no order or anything. At the time, I was very well...indoctrinated. I filled in the forms as best I could. I didn't know I could have tried to sell the house. It's hard - he and his family were quite threatening.
It seems that remarrying means you can't get a financial order, but I'm not allowed off the mortgage and on the deeds so I still own it. It's so, so confusing.

See a solicitor. It’s fairly clear cut that you are entitled to at least some equity, so you can pay the solicitor out of the settlement.

Sorry repeat question. Do you have a copy of your divorce petition? And did you tick the boxes for financial claims in the petition?

I don't have a copy. I would have put 'no' to a financial order, I think, seeing as I had no idea I had any rights at the time. It sounds odd, but I genuinely had no idea. This was a marriage where I had no rights or say in anything.

You need to get a copy of the petition, and then you need to see a solicitor.

The court will provide a copy they will want 5 quid and the case number.

Sadly they want £50 - I don't know the number but I know the date. Why is this needed, can you please tell me?

To be certain about whether you ticked the box or not. If you ticked it, your capital claims survived your remarriage.

So, if I ticked 'no' (I am 99% sure I did) what are the implications?

Well, then you are in a more complicated and uncertain position.

In theory, you can still force the issue by seeking an order for sale and division of proceeds under Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act (TOLATA). As opposed to the normal claim in divorce proceedings. Legal opinion is divided as to whether that will work, I think the better view is that, a TOLATA claim being in essence, an equitable remedy, equity will intervene to avoid an injustice. You won't be able to claim more than what an unmarried partner might get, but, if your (unremarried?) ex thinks he should have more, he can make a financial claim under the divorce legislation, and the court can resolve the case.

In addition, you can still (with the court's permission) make a claim against his pensions. The right to claim a pension share is not lost o remarriage, weirdly.

The bottom line is that you must get a solicitor. That is your only way forward. No one here can give you the answers you're looking for.

Definitely need a solicitor.

After all, he wouldn't like it if you secured loans against your half of the house and then defaulted on payments, if he died, you'd inherit significantly, you might need residential care for which the local authority would expect reimbursement from such assets - or if you were to divorce again and your husband quite rightly included a half share of your half in the figures, for example... A good solicitor would draw his vulnerability to his attention as part of focusing his mind.