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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Financial Settlement

22 replies

Timetostartafresh · 12/02/2021 08:28

Hi,

I am new to mn, so please be gentle.

I split with my H 6 months ago and and we are about to start mediation shortly, have just received the financial disclosure so I was wondering if anyone could advise what they believe would be a fair settlement (I have got a solicitor and will be talking to them as well but wanted to gain some opinions)

Married 11 years and together 15 years

1 son aged 8 living with me and seeing H 2 nights a week.

House worth £460k with mortgage of £190

Joint savings £4K was £8k but H took money out.

H:
salary £68k
Pension £350k
Second property £35k equity
Company car

Me:
Salary £30k working 3 days and have done since child was born
Pension £83k
Savings £20k
Car £8k

Does anyone have any thoughts on what would be a reasonable split?

OP posts:
MiddlesexGirl · 12/02/2021 21:01

How old are you both?
What sizes are the properties and does the second property have tenants?
What child arrangements are you looking at going forwards?

Original poster
Timetostartafresh · 12/02/2021 21:37

Thank you for taking your time to answer.

H is 45 and I am 43

Fmh is 4 bed detached house.

Yes second property has a tenants.

We have agreed on 5 nights with me and 2 nights with H

OP posts:
adventurealice · 12/02/2021 21:55

I believe that you could end up with perhaps 60:40 or even 70:30 of the house due to your DS. You might also get a cut of his pension fund since you partly sacrificed your hours to bring up your son. Everything else seems roughly even to me.

Original poster
Timetostartafresh · 12/02/2021 21:56

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
PicaK · 13/02/2021 09:39

Why have you listed the 2nd house as his. Its a marital asset? Don't answer. Just pointing out that you need to adjust your thinking. You have £24k in marital savings and 1 car worth 8k.
(I'm assuming you've double checked car value. If you've had any kind of crash bump it wipes the value off pricing websites)
Also. Look again at your figures - in terms of you both starting afresh on an equal footing and your son having a similar standard of living with each parent.
Sort in your mind what's a fair division to enable this.
Think about what you NEED. So how much is a 2 bed house in your area etc.
Starting at 50/50 you each get

£152k Equity
£12k cash savings
£216k pension
And need to pay in £4k each for a 2nd car of equal value which one of you keeps.
Cost of selling both houses based on redemption any redemption penalties, cgt for buy to let etc. Call it £60k altogether.

Next step. Housing your child

68k salary with 130k deposit
Max Borrow capability £340k
Buy a new home £ 470k

30k salary with 130k deposit
Max Borrow capability £133k
Buy a new home £263k

So look at evening that up bearing in mind 20% deposit needed. It becomes equal at

Two £328k houses:
Him £65k deposit max £263k mortgage
You £195k deposit £133k mortgage

That's a 25/75 split to ensure your son could live in 2 equal size homes.
Assume 50/50 on pensions

So that's your starting point. Get him to do the math and with your child as the starting point.

Then look at the preferences you have. Does he want to keep the rental house? Do you want to stay in marital home. You've got the pension % to use as a sliding scale.

Good luck.

Original poster
Timetostartafresh · 13/02/2021 10:28

@PicaK

Thanks for this. It is similar to what I had been thinking.

H has now proposed 55% of house and that’s it Shock
Does not want his pensions touching as he started contributing before we were together and believes that everything else should stay as is Angry

OP posts:
RandomMess · 13/02/2021 10:35

Starting point would be 50:50 of all assets possibly more as he has a higher earning potential and you are doing the bulk of the child rearing.

All assets are marital assets unless it is ringfenced inheritance that has never contributed to the marital pot.

PicaK · 13/02/2021 10:44

Lol. 55% and no pension share!! I suppose you keep savings and the car isn't a factor but still...

Really putting his son first.
Feign stupidity and ask him to show you the math so you can see how that let's you both start afresh on equal footing?

Throwntothewolves · 13/02/2021 10:58

I believe pension share is based on what has been put in the pension pot since marriage, not since the day he/you started paying into it pre-marriage, so he may be correct to an extent on that. Also I don't think you get a cash pay out as such on the basis that it is savings for retirement, so you will have to put it in another pension fund (may not be entirely right about this, but it is the advice I received). The rest of the assets are shared. Who earns what isn't really relevant, except for child maintenance purposes. You won't get a greater share of the assets or spousal maintenance or something just because he earns more, you'll just be expected to work more.
Be practical, not emotional in dealing with this. And remember, however amicable you are, you are no longer friends so don't let him take you for a ride

adventurealice · 13/02/2021 11:04

Does not want his pensions touching as he started contributing before we were together and believes that everything else should stay as is

There’s an element of truth there as pp said but I bet most of the growth and contributions were during your marriage due to the number of years and recent stock market growth. So you won’t get half of it but should get a healthy chunk.

RandomMess · 13/02/2021 11:11

Also any years where you co-habited directly before marriage are usually taken into account as adding to the marriage length.

Original poster
Timetostartafresh · 13/02/2021 11:33

Thanks everyone.

Any ideas how I try and work out how much I should be looking at of his pensions?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 13/02/2021 11:34

Ask your solicitor.

He's not going to be fair or generous so find out what your solicitor thinks a court would award.

Purplewithred · 13/02/2021 13:22

Joint assets of c £760k so a 50:50 start point would be you keep your own pension + £300k worth of other assets.

missha20 · 13/02/2021 13:24

Please can I step in and ask my question here? I am in the similar position and we are trying to sort out finance settlement. I want to save time and money and dont go thought full court process and tons of letters b/w solicitors. If someone could clarify the process to me I would much apricate the help. So if we go through mediator and decide lets say I keep the house (join mortgage and my own saving on 25% deposit paid when bought) and dont want any of his pension. Child stays with me and he takes him one weekend in 2 weeks. If the mediator will pass this sort of order to court -would be accepted? I have heard many times here that the court might decide it is not fare and overweight?

missha20 · 13/02/2021 13:26

Also -could you please advise me how the pension get valued? He has private pension but I am not -just the own through autoenrollment at work, not sure if it matter?

chestnutSquash · 13/02/2021 13:31

Pensions are really important. Unfortunately most people don't appreciate that until they get older and realise they don't have one. Many women have very little in the way of pension if they have worked part time or taken a career break. You need 35 years contributions to get a state pension of around £9k per year. It isn't much to live on.

chestnutSquash · 13/02/2021 13:34

Anyone can go on the government website and see their state pension prediction. They also explain how to find any other pension contributions.

RandomMess · 13/02/2021 13:46

@Timetostartafresh I would be saying you will have the house in exchange for not touching his pension. Remind him that much of his pension was accrued whilst you were together and is marital asset plus you have have enabled his career and higher purchase power by working part time and sacrificing your pension position.

Purplewithred · 13/02/2021 13:52

Pensions are valued by the person with the pension asking for a cash equivalent transfer value from the pension provider.

PicaK · 13/02/2021 14:30

You need to start your own thread.
Basically the pension company will give you the Cetv value. That's what they're worth atm and what you'd get if you pulled them out.
This is useful face value if you have both standard pensions that aren't final salary or defined benefit.
If one of them is a final salary or defined benefit pension then it's more complicated. That's when you get a pension actuary in to do a valuation which they charge c£2-3k to provide - because its so complicated to work out.
For simplicity sake.
Person 1 has a standard pension with cetv 250k - currently online to pay £5per annum in retirement.
Person 2 has a cetv £250k defined benefit pension. Because of the defined benefit its In line to pay £15k per annum in retirement with a ££ lump sum.
So in that sense those 2 pensions aren't equal

PicaK · 13/02/2021 14:36

It's all about negotiation isn't it?
What's the best outcome for your son. What's fair?
What's important to you? That you'd put a monetary value on having that someone else might not.

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