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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Ex partner refusing to buy out of house

48 replies

rubyrose123 · 09/02/2021 22:36

My husband’s ex partner (never married, two children) still lives in the home they bought together. My DH has spent thousands on solicitors trying to either buy her share or have her buy him out. This has gone on for 8 years since she kicked him out because she was having an affair. She’s now married and her and her husband definitely have the means to buy him out but clearly have no intention of doing so (unless for far less than half the market value). Whilst they were together she never worked so my DH paid the mortgage. She has paid the mortgage since he moved out but it remains in joint names. This has had implications for us when we bought a house together - difficulty getting a mortgage and having to pay double stamp duty as it’s considered a second home. As they were never married, there’s no ‘divorce settlement’ to be agreed so there is nothing in writing and she won’t agree to anything. The youngest child turns 18 in 4 years and then we will apply to the courts to force the sale of the house and split the equity. Has anyone been in a similar situation? It’s so frustrating because we have a huge mortgage (so that his and our kids can all have their own bedroom) and he has a lot of money tied up in his old house. Obviously we’d rather have the money now but we can cope with waiting until the DSC turn 18 if we’ll end up with a fair share (ideally half). Solicitors advice varies but we’ve been told because it’s held in joint names,without a separate deed of trust, my DH should be entitled to half and also that we are entitled to ask them for rent (which we don’t). Also, every time his ex and her husband carry out repairs or update the property, they email to say what work has been done and the cost (presumably so they can ask for reimbursement when the property is finally split). Any advice/people been in similar situations would be appreciated.

OP posts:
SilverBirchWithout · 09/02/2021 22:40

Presumably he’s been paying maintenance for the children?

zedapinwheel72 · 09/02/2021 22:42

Yes. Since he moved out. At a rate agreed by both. Higher than CSA

Embracelife · 09/02/2021 22:46

What have solicitors done ? He just needs to tell them to go to court to get an orderFor sale under TOLATA

SilverBirchWithout · 09/02/2021 22:48

Will it not be half of market value from when he left 8 years ago, rather than now?

rubyrose123 · 09/02/2021 22:50

@Embracelife

What have solicitors done ? He just needs to tell them to go to court to get an orderFor sale under TOLATA
Thanks. I’ll look into that. Solicitors have basically just said that until the kids are 18, she’s got the children act on her side and he’s legally req’d to keep a roof over their heads (despite her being married and being financially stable).
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rubyrose123 · 09/02/2021 22:52

@SilverBirchWithout

Will it not be half of market value from when he left 8 years ago, rather than now?
We’ve been told not and tbh I’m hoping not...he wanted to buy her out for half at the time but she wasn’t interested...
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SilverBirchWithout · 09/02/2021 22:53

It wouldn’t make any difference who paid the mortgage when they lived together, however the amount of deposit the each put in when originally purchased would be considered. The cost of any substantive repairs paid by ex over the past 8 years may be taken into account but not improvements.
Need to get a better solicitor.

rubyrose123 · 09/02/2021 22:55

@SilverBirchWithout

It wouldn’t make any difference who paid the mortgage when they lived together, however the amount of deposit the each put in when originally purchased would be considered. The cost of any substantive repairs paid by ex over the past 8 years may be taken into account but not improvements. Need to get a better solicitor.
My husband paid the deposit himself so that’s something at least. Thanks.
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VanGoghsDog · 09/02/2021 23:02

You should force the sale now. Worst case, judge orders the sale in four years, at least it's done.

He doesn't have to provide a roof any more than she does, so the sale is equal.

Also, every time his ex and her husband carry out repairs or update the property, they email to say what work has been done and the cost

Presumably you should write back every time and say "the rent from X date to y date is £z". Puts a line in the sand of them increasing value (in theory) vs owing rent.

Londonmummy66 · 09/02/2021 23:10

If they own the house together either of them can force the sale but need to bear in mind that his OH will make it as difficult as possible

rubyrose123 · 09/02/2021 23:13

Thanks for all this everyone. I definitely think we need a new solicitor!

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Givemeabreakpls · 09/02/2021 23:17

TOLATA can cost many thousands of pounds if his ex chooses to fight it - if your DH wins they would presumably be asked to pay his costs but the reverse is also true. If you do go down this route ensure you have all the financial details of who paid what and that it’s watertight.

rubyrose123 · 09/02/2021 23:23

@Givemeabreakpls

TOLATA can cost many thousands of pounds if his ex chooses to fight it - if your DH wins they would presumably be asked to pay his costs but the reverse is also true. If you do go down this route ensure you have all the financial details of who paid what and that it’s watertight.
Thanks. I can’t really see an alternative. They’ve tried mediation, agreed verbally on a figure and then she’s changed her mind. Any offers made subsequently have been pawltry. Other than just let her stay in the house indefinitely (which isn’t an option) it sounds like TOLATA is our only option.
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ProseccoThyme · 10/02/2021 07:06

OP, have a look at the Stack v Dowden judgement - this will give you an idea of what potentially may happen in terms of deposits, mortgage payments etc on a jointly owned house after cohabitation, if it goes to court.

rubyrose123 · 10/02/2021 12:56

Thanks

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dontdisturbmenow · 10/02/2021 13:03

You and he really think you can expect 50% of a property she paid the full mortgage on for 12 years?

No chance and I'm not surprised she hasn't been collaborative so far if that's your expectations.

He'll get half of the equity at the time of separation + any deposit he has out down.

Why would he be entitled to half of what she's paid for so long? Totally unreasonable. As for rent, unless she agreed, that won't work either. He had the option to continue to live there or of course to take her to court years ago.

rubyrose123 · 10/02/2021 13:38

He sought legal advice as soon as he left the family home and there have been several attempts at mediation/offers etc. It was a solicitor who advised him that he was entitled to 50% of the current value as they hold the property in equal shares. Thanks for the advice.

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SilverBirchWithout · 10/02/2021 16:16

If that’s what the solicitor said at the time - it would have been true when he left, but not now. If the solicitor Indicated this would continue to be the case years later, and was the reason your DP had not forced the sale/pay off - DP may have a case against the solicitor, have you anything in writing?

justchecking1 · 10/02/2021 16:36
  • You and he really think you can expect 50% of a property she paid the full mortgage on for 12 years?

No chance and I'm not surprised she hasn't been collaborative so far if that's your expectations.

He'll get half of the equity at the time of separation + any deposit he has out down.

Why would he be entitled to half of what she's paid for so long? Totally unreasonable. As for rent, unless she agreed, that won't work either. He had the option to continue to live there or of course to take her to court years ago.*

I think he'd have a reasonable case for 50:50. She's paid his half of the mortgage in lieu of not paying him rent for his half of the property 🤷🏻‍♀️

4Mongrels · 10/02/2021 16:43

I think he may get half too. There was no marriage and legally they each own 50%.

ProseccoThyme · 10/02/2021 17:09

If it's disputed in court (which looks increasingly likely, given that his ex is emailing over details of improvements she has paid for) then it is possible that an unequal division of equity could be argued.

And of course a solicitor will say 50% - they're always up for a fight in court! (And the resulting fees).

user1471528245 · 10/02/2021 17:37

If the property is in joint names it is totally irrelevant who pays the mortgage and for how long, and who paid the deposit, unless you have a deed of trust setting out who payed what and why it’s still a 50 50 split

ProseccoThyme · 10/02/2021 18:04

@user1471528245 - that's not the case if it goes to court - check out Stack v Dowden on cohabitation law and unequal equity splits.

Viviennemary · 10/02/2021 18:08

I think you should force the sale now. And reduce the child maintenance to the prescribed rate. It's time you turned the tables.

rubyrose123 · 10/02/2021 19:32

Thanks everyone. Hopefully we can get some better legal advice and get it settled finally.

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