Get your ducks in a row

[goodthingscome]

Every thread I read about relationship breakdowns and infidelity recommends ‘getting your ducks in a row’ before making any drastic decisions or moves. Does anyone have a list of what this involves? Eg: financial info required etc...
I can’t think straight!

I would say make a plan and have a good idea of what you need to do, for example:

• if you have children, how you will manage shared custody and costs for raising them. Who would be the the resident parent and would the other need to pay any child maintenance?

• financial aspects - splitting existing assets/debts, deciding where you would move to, can you afford monthly costs, what would that mean in practice (for example I had cost spreadsheets and different scenarios to work out how much I could spend on mortgage)

• the divorce process, what it involves, court fees and solicitor if you decide to go down that route.

I think that is mostly it, plus the emotional aspect of accepting the end of the relationship which, for me, took some time I must say.

I hope this helps...

I'd add to that... get together as much detail as you can.

Know what assets you collectively have.
Make records of account numbers etc.

Otherwise you might find that you can't find the information you need and it will have "disappeared" (in)conveniently ...

And try and keep a running log as you go. It's really easy to forget dates of what happened and when - and it could be handy further down the line.

Thank you so much. I now feel very stupid for having let many of these aspects of household admin become ‘his job’. I’m quite clueless. I have a lot to do!

"Ducks in a row" - what precisely? Any tips? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4049637-ducks-in-a-row-what-precisely-any-tips

Some v useful tips in here. Good luck!