More wanting to off load really as the email I have just had would have been really useful a few months ago in final court proceedings........
Ex has taken me to court numerous times over child access. Eventually the court gave him a restraining order and each time there was no case to answer. Eg we had arranged a drop off at Tesco and I had witness to say I was there. He wasn't. I texted to ask where he was -no reply etc. and then next day he would say "Changed my mind didn't want Saturday to Saturday -I want Wednesday to Wednesday" -you get the picture. Never been a case to answer. He had a restraining order given by the court for 3 years -it has now expired. He has contact with youngest one.
Oldest are NC with him
Youngest still sees him.
I applied to court to relocate back to home town -as I was isolated in the area and he has family there. I had sent him a long email outlinging reasons to move and two months later he hadn't replied so then sent-a solicitor's letter detailing my planned relocation followed and then when I had a job etc we had an emergency court hearing to move -and at the 11th hour he tried to stop us going. Judge over-ruled and allowed us to move. But he made some serious accusations to SS and the court that I was a loon and he said he had crime references numbers as I was harassing him and he had reported me to police numerous times. He also made these claims to SS. This was the first I heard of these -the court hearing as it was an emergency court hearing was at short notice and he dropped these in on the day of the court hearing to to SS on the day of the court hearing.
I emailed the ex local police force and asked them what these crimes were and why I wasn't notified. But they didn't get back to me before the last court hearing. But judge allowed us to relocate and reduced his contact although SS wanted an investigation. No current court case.
It turns out -long email from police - that they logged the first case of my "alleged harassment" as the email from me asking to relocate -that's what he logged. They told him -that my letter was amicably written, very polite /professional and solely about the welfare of the children and our planned moved. -No action.
When my solicitor wrote to him about the same issue-he logged this too as harassment. Police reported no case to answer and wasn't harassment.
Next two occassions were when he failed to phone our child on a given day at a given time (court ordered). DC that has contact phoned and left a message saying "It's x o clock why haven't you rung" -he has reported me and said DC for harassment -saying I was responsblt for the call -as child is under 10. Police listened to message and said to him -it was the child ringing and not me, that ex was in breach of the order by not ringing and his DC was extremely polite asking why he hadn't rung. No case to answer. Nothing to investigate.
Same happened the following week and again DC phoned asking why he hadn't rung -he reported our young DC again to the police for harassment again. Police outcome as above. Child was phoning not me. Child is 7. Child was distressed. Ex husband was supposed to have rung. etc
The police said in the email -these are all the crime references we have on you-we didn't contact you as these were not crimes, not worth investigating and you were clearly trying to relocate and do everything amicably and he was clearly trying to provoke a situation.
No action taken against him.
I wish I had this email before the court case for the judge. As it was -it has been left on court papers that he's made allegations against me (he has listed "Crime reference numbers" that haven't been investigated by SS as the judge overule the need to invesitgate them.
I'm fuming -mainly on behalf of youngest DC. What father doesn't ring their child at a court ordered time and then when the 7 yr old rings them to politely ask why -doesn't answer and reports said child to the police??
I won't tell DC what he has done -but it is all there in the report from the police. FFS. Realising that he is more unhinged than I thought.
Don't know if it is worth forwarding the report and email on to SS or not. I know we will be back to court at some point. Sadly. But at the moment -no need.
I have always watched my back -but these is scary allegations. He was obviously hoping he could make enough allegations in the hope of getting DC done for harassment for phoning their Dad or something.
Feeling very upset about this. If this information has been before the judge -I feel he might have had his parental rights terminated and not had his phone calls increases (contact is decreased but phone calls increased). FFS.
Just really upset that 1) he made allegations that were made to sound in court like he had a good reason and something was going on 2) His allegations towards his own 7 year old beggars belief.
Very upset. Obviously need to have a big glass of wine. Just off loading sorry.