How do people manage shared parenting when their ex is a completely irresponsible parent? me and my oh are in the process of separating but I dread him having the kids in his own became he doesn’t look after them properly. Not only does he feed them absolute crap, not just chips every meal but things like buying the kids a family size pack of sweets EACH every time he takes them to a shop (try persuading a 3 year old to hand over the massive bag of squashies that daddy said he could have!). He also doesn’t do things like brushing their teeth or washing them unless the kids or me specifically remind him it has to be done. I know that he wouldn’t change when he has them in his own as he has older children from a previous relationship and was exactly the same with them.
My dd also has asthma and a peanut allergy which she carries an epipen for. In the past he has constantly downplayed the seriousness of her allergy and asthma, he smokes around the kids, not in the house but outside, not convinced he wouldn’t smoke inside if he had his own house. He doesn’t remember to give her her inhaler, he doesn’t always remember to to check food packaging for peanuts. He hasn't bothered to learn how to administer her epipen although he knows he will have to before he has them in his own.
The most frustrating thing is that this is exactly the reason I want to leave him but it make it extremely difficult to do, the thought of him having them on his own for 2 days a week or more fills me with dread. Of course the kids absolutely love spending time with him, he is the funniest dad ever, all the sweets you want and new toys every trip to the supermarket, no vegetables, bedtime or brushing your teeth! It’s already really difficult to parent them because I am constantly being made out to be ‘unfun’ mum (my kids actually call me this), I can’t imagine how hard it is going to be when they get to spend 2-3 days a week living living like this.