I have been married for 10 years we have no children together, but we both have grown-up children from her first marriages. The first few years were good we got on really really well and then I lost my son in law ( who I loved dearly) he died in a tragic circumstances leaving my beautiful daughter devastated and alone to bring up 7 children . I have never fully got over it and I suffer with post-traumatic stress disorder and bouts of depression and anxiety because of it ...It must be said that I suffered with anxiety before this tragic loss. For the first six months my husband was quite good and patient with me but then he started to get angry and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting over it. He is still angry every day I can see it all over his face and he admits that he is angry , angry for the loss of our relationship . I’ve had CBT for the post-traumatic stress helped to a degree but I fear I will never fully recover and I am emotionally numb. Any physical relationship is gone With my husband in fact I can’t stand him near me he’s just so hostile and aggressive , we have not been physical now for over two years. He resents the time I spend with my family he says there is nothing left for him. But my daughter needs me and she comes first. He gets angry if my phone rings and it’s my family , I ring my elderly mother three times a day since this pandemic because she’s alone and I need to know she has engaged with someone throughout the day and have to leave the room to do it because he gets shitty. I have tried to talk to him and explain to him that post traumatic stress leave me numb and I have no control over it and his being aggressive towards me just makes things 1000 times worse but he said he can’t help it and that my Excuses are wearing thin.... I am so much happier when he’s not in the house so I feel now is the time for us to separate. This is not where I expected to be at 64 years old but it is what it is. I know I have neglected my relationship to deal with family but wouldn’t anyone else do the same ? Could have done this differently ?