I really need advice.

[Rosiedo]

My husband and I are splitting up.

Our mortgage is almost paid, property valued approx £250,000. He has a pension which on the recent statement says the value is about £140,000 (I don’t have a pension).
We have been married for 31 years, he is 52 and I’m 49.

He has a full time job, I am a foster carer, so I’m classed as self employed. I don’t even know if I would be entitled to any benefits.

I am so worried about everything and would love some advice. If I don’t get to keep the house, I will lose my job and the wonderful little person I have in my life (We have 2 birth children). I don’t know what to do.

I had a feeling this was coming, I did speak to a solicitor last week who said I might have a special circumstance to keep the house because of my job, but, STBXH was self employed about 12 years ago, sold his business and put the money to pay down the mortgage, so solicitor said he might have a special circumstance to ask for more of the equity on the house.

Solicitor said they would need to get a settlement on the pension (a cash something or other) and it’s not what’s on the statement. My friend said what’s taken into account is what they think the pension is at his retirement age which I believe is 65. Does anyone know if this is more than half the amount on the recent statement or more?

In an ideal world, I would just love him to sign the house over to me, and he can keep his pension that way I get to keep the little one I have but I don’t know if he will do this as that would mean he wouldn’t have a deposit to put down for a mortgage of his own.

If he doesn’t do this, I won’t be able to keep fostering as the house would need to be sold and I would need to buy another but I won’t get a 4 bedroomed house.

Can anyone please give me any advice?

Would I be entitled to legal aid (in scotland), I get a “wage” from fostering, but it’s not much. The solicitor I spoke to last week said I might be entitled to legal aid but she doesn’t take on legal aid cases.

What kind of pension is it? If its a defined benefit or a final salary scheme you do need to consider if its worth hiring a pensions actuary. The CETV the pension companies give often doesn't really reflect the guaranteed payout the person will receive at 65.
Bear in mind the actuary will cost c2k to produce their report.

I’m not sure on the type of pension I’m afraid. Is the CETV usually a lot less than what would be on his statement? I will try to see if I have a statement here to find out the type of pension.

I’ve had a look at a statement I can’t see anything on there about what type of pension. There is something on it about SIIPS???

There is only about £5000 left to pay on the mortgage. Just last week he had contacted his work to pay £100 per week + their contribution to the pension. I think he will change that now. He has the potential to be a high earner £60,000 + (we are in Scotland) so that’s a high wage for us and has earned this for the past couple of years. I have a feeling I’m going to be left high and dry.

I don't know the position in Scotland but in England you would not be left high and dry. It has been a long marriage and you will be entitled to a share of all the assets accumulated during that marriage- what the exact share will be, will need to be worked out. It can be arranged that you keep the house in exchange for not having any of the pension- don't know if this is the position in Scotland. Anyway please take legal advice which will be tailored to your exact circumstances as you will only ever have generic advice on here. Also, it really helps to understand, and I know this sounds cold, but any court settlements are not there to punish bad behaviour on the part of a spouse ( this misconception gets trotted out on Mn all the time). I wish you the best of luck and well done for being a foster carer