Here's my story...
Parental Alienation - A Mother's Story
One morning in March 2014, upon the advice of a solicitor, I left my now ex-husband with the hope (perhaps a little naively) that the abuse I had endured for many years - financial, physiological and emotional - would stop. Most importantly, I finally recognised that living in such a toxic environment was damaging to my two boys - just 3 and 6 at the time. Things would get better.
How wrong I was.
My ex-husband was awarded 50/50 care of the children despite my warnings that this would exacerbate the suffering of us all. I compiled a detailed 9-page document outlining in detail the abuse and control endured over many years. It was ignored. I was even told by a police officer to "show the bruises." They were not external.
My children are now 10 and 13 and both suffer with significant attachment and mental health issues. My ex-husband is now applying for yet more contact so he would become primary carer. Due to ongoing alienation to meet his own ends, this is likely to be awarded. The children have been so greatly manipulated over such a long period that the "master" has spoken through his "puppets". They live in fear of rejection so must utter his words and not theirs. Any meaningful contact with my boys will then further deteriorate until we may well not have any relationship at all.
Asides from the most damaging effects of coercive control, financial abuse also continues. Due to my ex-husband taking me to court repeatedly, we remain in privately rented accommodation which has been the case since I left. This case alone will have cost in the region of £35,000, if not more. I am no longer in the position to be able to buy a suitable property for my family as the divorce settlement money has been drained.
To date "professionals" involved in our case have included - but not limited to - the police, counsellors, Early Help, General Practitioners, Health Visitors, Cafcass, Clinical Psychologists, a Child Guardian, solicitors and barristers.
Not one has recognised Parental Alienation. Many have fully minimised our experiences. The perpetual cycle of abuse continues. Some days it is almost too much to bear.
As a loving mother, who has endured enough, there will come the fateful day when yet again I am forced to witness my beautiful children slipping further away into the control of an abuser. I grieve as if my children have passed away but with the pain of knowing they are still alive.
Change will come too late for us but I write this with the hope that it is made in time for others.