Avoiding dragged out divorce

[Vickyglitz]

Can anyone advise on how to avoid a dragged out divorce? Eg sale of house etc. I really want it to end quickly but I think my husband will drag his feet especially when it comes to selling the house. We have only the house as an asset, and can do 50/50 split , it's jointly owned. But the issue is he will not hire a lawyer, get a move on with estate agent etc.

You can still hire a lawyer if you can afford to yourself, that's what I've done. But things inevitably have been dragged out, so far we're a year into the divorce and still no where near done. Things that have slowed us down are ex h delay in returning information needed, not returning the exact stuff and us having to go back and ask again, him not being clear about financial stuff thinking he doesn't need to but it's all for court documents so he does...! I've also dragged my feet sometimes in replying to emails because have been so busy with things like home school and working etc and I stupidly sometimes have missed emails from the lawyer.

@boymum9 thank you - yea I can afford a lawyer. I can even move out if he pays the mortgage and bills. Our financial situation is not very complicated. House, some savings (approx equal) and pension. I just want this over with. It should not take long if everyone plays ball.

What is it you want over with?
What's the grounds for divorce?

Represent yourself and go straight to court look on wiki divorce website for help and support

@PicaK unreasonable behaviour - mental and physical abuse (shoving, pushing), name calling, making me write apology messages to friends for things I didn't do just because he didn't quite like how I behaved (if I don't my child can't visit her grandparents in Russia), threatening to take away passports and not let me kid go abroad.

Coercive control. An abusive person is not going to let you go easily. Dragging things out is not about how reasonable you are being, but about seizing a final opportunity to control you.

Not sure there's a lot you can do about that other than appoint a solicitor to deal with his nonsense so you don't have to, and allow it to wash over you instead of giving him the satisfaction of getting upset or drawn into games.

@user13752257 he refuses to pay for a cleaner and makes me pay but also won't clean himself. He said I should clean. He threatens to never let our child leave the country to see her grandparents though she's always crying for them because she loves them and loves visiting. She's 2 and already hates our home.

I don't want him to fire the cleaner as I work full time and also do all childcare when not working bc he refuses to even put her to bed or feed her. He always tells me I've failed as a mother because I traveled during lockdown to another country to get a break from his abuse and to be with my parents. He's always making snide remarks and his relatives are sending me abusive messages.

You don't need to convince me how abusive he is.

I am merely pointing out that breaking free of his abuse will involve ceasing to engage with the kinds of behaviours you're listing.

Speak to Women's Aid.

Keep those abusive messages to show the police. Tell them to stop messaging you