Me and my baby daddy can't split

[mumofverity]

Hiya I need different opinions in what to do with my boyfriend of 3 years. We have a 1 year old little girl and we have a flat together but we are CONSTANTLY arguing. He plays on his computer all day and night and I have to ask for his attention to watch a film or whatever and it seems so much for him. He says I want too much attention but I mean asking to watch a film with someone isn't much if you ask me, I'm always on a time limit with him he'll say he has to play his game. We sometimes have really good days and some days are just all around BAD. The things we say to eachother aren't nice but we've "broken up" a couple of times recently but we keep ending up making up but then it all goes back to the same stuff!!! I've got very bad trust issues with him (from past actions of his) and I just don't think they'll ever go away, but that's what's worrying me is that when we do finally break up, he's going to find someone really quickly and it sickens me to death thinking of that and I think thats why I keep giving in and getting back together with him. We have currently broken up right now but he says he has to stay here for a week till he can find somewhere but it's so awkward and I'm worried we're going to make up again and it be all the same again. I actually don't know what I need help with as I'm writing this post I really just needed to tell someone.

OK, what's your housing situation? Are you renting, and if so are both names on the tenancy agreement? When does it end? If you own, again, is it in joint names, his alone or yours?

Because you know this relationship is dead, you just need to sort out the practicalities.

My parents own the flat we both live in, and we rent off of them, it's my name only on the tenancy agreement he's just taking his time to leave and it's making this so much harder

Well I am sure with your dps standing over him he will pack fast....

Of course you can break up. Get him out, change the locks, keep it that way. You’re an adult. Do the smart thing.

I'm in the same boat except we rent at my partner's mum's. I have similar trust issues too..we broke up when I was pregnant with our now 2 year old and he jumped into a relationship with a pretty young blonde and then we got back together after a few months before our son was born. Yes it hurt at the time but fast forward a few years I'd take that over being stuck with a boring, moody arse!! We seem to think these men who we've grown so sick of are going to be a god to another woman but even if that happens it won't be long until they also see them for who they are and want out! No one wants to see their ex, especially their baby's dad, with someone new but what's worse, that or wasting your precious years staying in a dead relationship just so that doesn't happen. Maybe it's more helpful to imagine where you'd want to see yourself in 5 years time and see if it includes him.

I certainly would like out by then but no where will have be on the private market as I'm not desirable enough and I'm not prepared to go to emergency accommodation so I'm stuck for now.

I hope you manage to sort it's not easy x

I know it's such a hard one and makes me feel sick knowing that that's what would happen but your right at the end of the day if that's what's going to make us happy by leaving them that's what we should do instead of staying in unhealthy relationships, do you not have any family you can stay with?

You can’t be in a relationship with him because you’re scared he’ll date someone else. What sort of prize would the next woman be getting anyway, a lazy gaming obsessed arsehole who’s verbally abusive to the mother of his child?

You can’t put your baby through living in an emotional war zone. Your daughter deserves a peaceful happy home and far more than she needs her parents to be together if you can’t behave decently towards each other.

Of course you can split up. You already have. Keep it that way. Kick him out and enjoy being single - you can watch what you like when you like for a start.

Oh OP, where/how do you think he’d even meet someone if all he’s interested in is playing his games?

You hold all the cards here, you absolutely can kick him out.

Baby daddy? Are you both teenagers? If so get your mum and dad to chuck him out.

You need to just let him go. You're only finding yourself getting back with him to stop him moving on first really. Thats a bit shitty.
Its not a good relationship for you, him or your child.

Why do you feel sick about him finding someone else?

I get that it’s not a nice thought of course, but he’s hardly a catch from what you’ve said. So you know their relationship wouldn’t be anything you want

If he can’t get it together for the mother of his child, to show her love, care, time, respect etc then he’s not about to do it for someone else.

Just feel sorry for the next poor woman

😂😂😂
I'm sorry for laughing but my 5-year-old calls her boy doll her baby daddy