How would our finances be split in divorce?

[Elchoclo]

I know I need to go and see a solicitor for a clear answer, but I’m just looking for ball park ideas of where I might find myself if my husband and I were to seperate as things are far from great at the moment. Counselling is planned but I feel like I need gain some insight into possible paths my future could take.

Details are:

House with c. 530k equity, 220k mortgage.
He earned 100k last year, and almost 180k this year. This is part salary and part investments in shares etc through work.
I’m pt self employed and earned 12k last year.
Pensions c.£30k in mine, £150k in his. We’ve paid more into his than mine as he gets more tax relief.
Savings c.£40k
Old battered car, no other significant assets.

Two children in early teens, one with sen. We are in late 40s. Together for 25 years, married 10.

A small 3 bed terrace in our area costs minimum 350-400k. My earning potential outside my self employed role is minimal as I’ve been out of the job market for over 14years due to children.

I know we are pretty well off, but I’m currently realising that I am very vulnerable, as we chose for me to be a sahm....but despite having multiple degrees etc, there is now little likelihood I could have any sort of career due to the long break from the workplace. There is also a high chance that, if we split, or start the process of separating, he will quit his job (due to stress, not for the child maintenance).

I couldn’t afford the mortgage alone, and I’d not be able to get it in my name as I don’t earn enough. So we’d have to move, I assume.

What sort of financial split may be considered in our circumstances?

Do you get DLA and Carers for the child with SEN? If they much require greater parental support and scaffolding than their peers, especially overnight, then you can apply for these.
If you get carers you will get Universal credit. And can earn c500 a month on top.
DLA takes ages to be assessed but is backdated to when you ring for the form. It's incredibly hard to fill in and designed to catch you out. You need to read guides and join fb groups for help. Took me 60 hours to do one.
His pension seems very low.
Have you photocopies of those shares assets.
Do you claim childbenefit in your name? Get that sorted ASAP you can tick the box not to receive the money but you need to be the one who claims it - it's important.
It'd be easier to sell the house.
But if you both agreed it was important fir the child with sen to remain there then you can look at Mesher Orders.
You've had a long marriage, been sahm for a long time and have child with sen which limits your earning potential.
This means you could get a greater percentage of the house equity. Possibly even all of it if you offset against pensions and share assets etc.
How much does it cost to run? Really look at the bills. If you're on your own there then council tax goes down by 25% but if you're on UC then it can reduce further. (Ours went from 300 per month to 60 quid.)
Im honestly not sure it's best to stay in the house.
In short 70/30 was the advice I got and 50/50 on the pension.
Fighting it out in court about £40k

To give you a rough idea I get c£2500 income pm for my 1 parent household from dla, cb, carers, UC, cms and my pt wage.
I hope your counselling works. It's crap being divorced when you realise that some really honest counselling 1-2 years prior would have kept you together.
However, we've done counselling since we separated to help us divorce well. That's kept our friendship (not all plain sailing i grant you) and helped us coparent the kids. So make sure you use the counselling in this way too.