sorting out money split - worried he'll hide assets

[bananamango]

Hi i've posted another thread but that's more about the kids. i just wanted to ask more specifically about the finances.

Told DH two weeks ago i want a divorce. 20 years married - first10 he had a heavy drinking problem second 10 he's got into right wing conspiracies in a really big and crazy way.

He brought pretty much all the money into the marriage i had nothing.
We are comfortable (tho he has always acted like we are close to broke) but obvs that now has to be split. We own two houses now and have agreed to sell the one we're currently in - moved to this area in 2017 - and will most likely sell the other one too. This will give us plenty to each buy a smaller house here and have quite a bit left over. So far so amicable tho i know that he will be feeling like he is about to be on the breadline (he is deluded) and that this is still all his money.

We have a couple of decent investments that are solely in his name and I am worried that he will try to hide those. I have evidence ie photos of statements and actual pictures of gold bullion bars (!) but I think I've read somewhere that legally any statements just addressed to him don't count as that's a breach of his privacy. Has anyone experienced this and were you able to prove them and have them added to list of assets?

Thanks for reading- would love to hear how others have dealt with this.

i have a solicitor but i try to contact his as little as possible to not run up a huge bill. when i first spoke to him he seemed pretty punchy and said that if DH doesn't list these they could be tracked down somehow - even if a forensic accountant was needed and if proven that he was not honest he would have to pay for that.

I think your solicitor sounds very sensible. If both of you submit your Form E's and you know for certain that he hasn't declared everything but you can't use the evidence you have then you can appoint a forensic account and he will find the assets officially. Won't go down well in court either, that he tried to hide assets and got caught out.

@StephenBelafonte thanks v much. Yes my friend said that about court taking a dim view of him trying to hide stuff. He has a friend who's just going through divorce and I know that guy pretty quickly agreed a 50:50 split with his wife who had never worked (their kids finished school so older than ours). So maybe he'll be slightly influenced by that. That said, it wouldn't surprise me if he tried to bully me into accepting less. But that won't work. I've already decided I won't engage too much if he tries that and will hand it over to the solicitor. I'd really rather keep it as nice as possible but I won't let him talk me out of my right to financial security.

Just remember, you don't have to graciously accept what he wants you to have, it doesn't work like that.

Either you agree the split between you, or the court decides. And the court will be fair.

@StephenBelafonte thanks again. I think I'll be printing out your post and keeping it folded up in my pocket so I can get it out when I need strength!