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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Trapped

3 replies

heatered · 23/01/2021 22:09

It's been over for years. Basically still living together for the kids (12 &17) it's hell, I'm so ill because of it all with anxiety and depression. There's been no light at the end of the tunnel for years. I've been a SAHM for far to long, had all my confidence drained from me. No qualifications. No idea how I could work because of how ill I feel. We've had separate rooms for 7 years at least. I got sick of the sofa and temporary beds over the years I've just bought myself a 'real' bed. Husband pays for everything, I do cooking, shopping and house stuff, but it is a real struggle because of how I'm feeling, he just sees me as fat and lazy when in fact this is the best I can do! If I look into a job he gets shitty if it means he might have to cook or do something I normally do, he drags me down so low. I have about £20k left in savings from when a parent died. I've been using this to pay for shopping and stuff for the kids plus finally my own proper bed. It won't last forever. He won't give me any money, before the inheritance I'd have to justify every penny I needed from him. I'm completely trapped in this situation, no family or friends, he won't leave mainly because of money and I can't afford anything long term. Plus I'm so on edge I don't know if I could cope with any big changes. We have a joint mortgage. He has savings.

Is there anything I can claim other than insanity?!

OP posts:
Sid077 · 24/01/2021 00:18

Hi op
I’m sorry you are in this situation, it sounds like an abusive relationship to me - can you contact womens aid to help you see a way forward? You do not deserve to live like this and can leave this relationship when you feel strong enough.

Tiddleypops · 24/01/2021 06:18

Please contact Women's Aid op, this is abuse.
Well done for posting here, that must have taken courage.
The anxiety and depression are very closely linked to this situation and I would bet that if you were out of it, you would begin to recover. You would be able to do things you can't imagine now.
You can only do it one day at a time and you will need help and support. As well as contacting Women's Aid, do you have any friends/family who could help you?

Lemmeout · 30/01/2021 09:17

Agree with above WA.
He sounds awful and you need to be kind to yourself. Make plans to leave.

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