Ex breaking lockdown endangering children!!! Pls help

[Trolleydolly789]

ago Hi So I’m in desperate need of some
advice! ex & I have been separated now for a year he was a monster & for15 years put us all through hell! long story short I finally ended the relationship & discovered that less than a week after our split he was going on tinder online dating. He met a nurse she lives in Oxford & even during the height of lockdown so April May etc they were meeting up (shes a nurse so let that sink in too) I told him that for the safety of our children he needed to stop but he refused so I didn’t allow face to face contact just FaceTime/calls. Fast forward to Xmas he came Xmas to my home Xmas day & was visibly unwell I told him I think he needs to get tested he screamed at me that he was fine & that “she gets tested every week” but guess what he had COVID he tested positive on 28th December thank god myself and the children were and still are fine! He has broke lockdown with no regard for his children’s safety what can I do legally about this hes flat out denying what he’s done is wrong and that everyone is doing it! I’m not breaking lockdown as I value my children’s health and well-being over my own social life! He’s now threatening to force the sale of our family home despite having his own place to live and not needing the money! This is what he does he gets caught out and then turns the tables on me by bullying and financially hurting us! I’m desperate for some advice I’m struggling with the mental abuse has lighting and threats of putting me out on the street!!!

Why are you assuming he caught it from her? If they were in a bubble, he didn't break the law. Maybe he got it at work, or the supermarket.

You were unreasonable to stop face to face and you're the one being controlling. The regulations were clear that children could still have contact with their non resident parents.

Did he tell you about meeting the nurse from tinder?

If he was living alone he did nothing wrong.

He has had covid and you were all fine. There is also some evidence that having it gives you a level of immunity for a while.

Children are allowed to visit parents.

Sorry but, in this situation, you are in the wrong. Whilst you may not like his choices they are legitimate and you don't have power over his legal actions.

Sorry, but he's not endangering anyone, there's no evidence he's broken lockdown, and you are being totally unreasonable. And if he's so awful, went are you so much in his life that you know everything he does? He has a right to contact with his children unless the courts say otherwise. Why would you expect him to not be angry with you when you are the one causing the problem? He actually has a point - how do you get to dictate everything he does, and still expect to live in a house that is partly his too?

Nurses are not Typhoid Mary's and who he dates is none of your business.

Legally he has done nothing that warrants stopping contact with his children. Yes perhaps he has broken lockdown rules, but then so have many many people and they have not had their children denied to them. Your ex also could have caught Covid anywhere and now he is recovered, he can see his children. In this instance, you are the one in the wrong I am afraid and courts will not look kindly on you using covid to stop contact.

Are the children vulnerable? Many children have nurses/doctors as parents themselves. My own children have my dh who is a essential worker. Both myself and my dh are currently Covid positive (on the second week) but neither of our two boys have yet to come down with any symptoms.

Yes and I have proof that he was breaking lockdown by travelling to hers she lives in a shared house which makes it worse! I asked if he would not do so when seeing when children but he literally travelled to hers Xmas eve then came to see the children Xmas day! Then he was diagnosed with Covid so surely he’s broke every rule in the book!

Nope still not seeing how he has broken lockdown, they sound like a bubble and he is allowed to see his children.

So under the current lockdown rules my ex is ok to travel across counties stay in a shared house with a nurse then come and see the children? Pretty sure the rules states that you’re not allowed to visit people or have overnight stays etc! I haven’t stopped him seeing the children be just suggested that as he’s not willing to follow the guidelines then is it worth risking my kids being exposed to it?

You are allowed overnight stays with people you are bubbled with, the distance travelled is irrelevant.

Since the nurse doesn't live alone she couldn't have bubbled with him,
and of course he was doing wrong!

So under the current lockdown rules my ex is ok to travel across counties stay in a shared house if he lives on his own he can bubble up with a shared house yes.

with a nurse nurses are allowed to have sex even in pandemics

then come and see the children? which the law allows as he is their parent even if he is in a bubble with someone else when he isn't seeing them.

Pretty sure the rules states that you’re not allowed to visit people or have overnight stays etc! unless within a lawful bubble, which he is in.

I haven’t stopped him seeing the children but.... you did?

just suggested that as he’s not willing to follow the guidelines then is it worth risking my kids being exposed to it? as I'm sure you are aware the risks to your children are very small.

Just own the fact that you hate the fact he is off shagging someone else and seemingly moving on rather than try and justify stopping him seeing the children 'because covid'. If he takes it to court you will be the one who will be seen to have been unreasonable.

Perhaps read the actual law before making a fool of yourself
www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household#who-can-make-a-support-bubble

@bobbojobbo

Since the nurse doesn't live alone she couldn't have bubbled with him, and of course he was doing wrong!

Yes but he lives alone so can bubble with her household.

He doesn't sound particularly nice and to be honest I would work towards a clean break so he no longer has a financial hold over you.

But he’s not bubbled up he met her on tinder his support bubble is his parents! I have no interest in his private life that’s his business but what I do know is I wasn’t allowed to see my family Xmas day due to the lockdown rules but he can travel out of area and do overnight stays then see the children Xmas day without really taking any sort of safety precautions and he did catch it and bought it into the home! I haven’t stopped him seeing the kids once but what I have asked is for him to take more care but he’s happy to do what he wants! Considering cases are so high at the moment and deaths are rising is this ok?

[quote Herdwick]So under the current lockdown rules my ex is ok to travel across counties stay in a shared house if he lives on his own he can bubble up with a shared house yes.

with a nurse nurses are allowed to have sex even in pandemics

then come and see the children? which the law allows as he is their parent even if he is in a bubble with someone else when he isn't seeing them.

Pretty sure the rules states that you’re not allowed to visit people or have overnight stays etc! unless within a lawful bubble, which he is in.

I haven’t stopped him seeing the children but.... you did?

just suggested that as he’s not willing to follow the guidelines then is it worth risking my kids being exposed to it? as I'm sure you are aware the risks to your children are very small.

Just own the fact that you hate the fact he is off shagging someone else and seemingly moving on rather than try and justify stopping him seeing the children 'because covid'. If he takes it to court you will be the one who will be seen to have been unreasonable.

Perhaps read the actual law before making a fool of yourself
www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household#who-can-make-a-support-bubble[/quote]
More than happy that he’s having sex with someone else has it stops him terrorising me! My concern is that he’s not really putting the welfare of the kids first! He’s caught it and he’s bought it into my home and was really poorly with it he could have passed it to the children and I’ve been so careful keeping everyone safe!

I know he originally met her on tinder but she's been his gf for nearly a year now, I get that it must be hard.

I haven’t stopped him seeing the kids once but what I have asked is for him to take more care

I told him that for the safety of our children he needed to stop but he refused so I didn’t allow face to face contact just FaceTime/calls.

both the above statements can't be true. I agree he sounds like a shit but you sound like you're using covid and the children to get back at him.

Coulda woulda shoulda.
You’re stopping your children seeing their dad. End of. You’re in the wrong.

also, he could have caught covid in Asda buying toilet roll. there is a highly contagious disease going round, catching it doesn't necessarily mean that someone's been irresponsible, and not having caught it yet doesn't mean you're better at lockdown than him. I agree that he should have stayed home if he was symptomatic though.

How do you all this level of detail about him and the nurse?!

You are being much to dramatic and controlling about it.

You don't know every aspect if his life. Maybe he was in a bubble with his parents and then changed it to hers.

In all likelihood he didn't break the rules, yet you've been insistent that he had and stopped him seeing his kids because of it.

He caught covid. Unless your kids have been gone schooled for the last year, they could have caught it at school like thousands did. They were no more at risk seeing him than they were going to school.

He now has had covid, so the chances of him getting again and passing it in to them.us extremely low, yet you insist he can't see them.

OP, you really are in the wrong and masking whatever anger you have towards him behind your kids. It's unfair to him but also to your kids. You need to move away and accept slowly that you don't have some control of your kids. He is their dad and unless he puts them in imminent danger, which he wasn't, you have no right to dictate how he parents them on his time.

Not sure you can change bubbles nor can you form a bubble with someone who has already formed a bubble elsewhere! Also I’m sure that you’re unable to travel long distances or have overnight stays! My aim is not to stop contact never has been my aim
is to protect the children! I haven’t said he caught it from her or anyone in that house but the fact he’s driving the length of the country and potentially spreading to others is my concern! We are all fit and healthy however many others aren’t I don’t think I could be so blatant to disregard the welfare of others especially my own children and by refusing to have tests or not adhere to rules
For the sake of his kids I don’t see how that’s fair on any level! Pretty sure if everyone acted the same as him we would be in trouble! I don’t care who he sees or what he does like I said all the time he’s elsewhere he’s not ruining our lives my issue is he’s not taking lockdown seriously and neither is the nurse we are supposed to be out clapping for every week she could be taking it back into hospital! I know nurses who have slept in gardens in tents away from their families to protect them not meeting guys on dating sites during lockdown and having them sleep over then going to work!

you are allowed to change your support bubble

you can also travel to and from your support bubble.

how is he simultaneously 'refusing to have tests' and yet also 'tested positive on 28th December'?

And she's not meeting "guys" on dating sites, she met one guy, nearly a year ago, and yes she probably shouldn't have at the time, but it was a year ago now and they are in a relationship.

you sound like you are fixating on what they did and didn't do a year ago to the point where you are trying to stop him seeing his dc. It's not ok for you to do this. it's not ok for him to force the sale of your home either but you both sound like you're doing petty tit for tat at this point and I imagine the courts will roll their eyes at both of you.