How long did your divorce take ?

[FippertyGibbett]

From the moment you lifted the phone to call a solicitor, until it was finally over, how long did it take ?

About 3 years I think.

Filed for Divorce Sept 2019, decree absolute less than 6 months later but we are currently going through the courts with regards to our finances. Covid has slowed things down considerably plus ex is dragging his feet and not complying! FDR in July, Final Hearing gawd knows how long after! As TheLaughingGenome said, speed isnt necessary sometimes especially when it is so important to get things sorted properly - I have 2 young children to consider and make sure we are housed and okay for the near future until I get back on my feet

@PersimmonTree how did it take 6 years????

Almost 5 years - but my ex was tenacious in his foot dragging - throughout separating, mediation, the financial order.... Most divorces don't take so long; it was just more psychological games.

2 years and 5 months here. I just got my decree absolute yesterday. Whoop, whoop! Totally agree that it's best not to rush it.
And if your ex is a high earner and bit of a bully or used to being in control then don't rely on mediation or collaborative law.
We ended up in and FDR hearing but I don't regret it one bit.
I kept thinking he'd be reasonable but for him that meant bare minimum rather than what a court would advise.

10 weeks, did my own divorce.

Congrats @Spritesobright well done on gaining your independence.
Will be about two years for me once the decree absolute comes through...soon!
Lots of game playing and objecting at every single point which caused delays. But I still have the satisfaction of knowing I divorced him

5 very long months

We split in Nov 2018, and immediately started divorce proceedings. Divorce would have been final around March 2020 but the courts shut due to Covid. Eventually officially divorced June 2020.

Thank you @YogaMommyyyyy
Yes, the financial independence is fantastic but being away from his gaslighting and criticism is absolutely priceless.

Applied in late April 19, absolute granted mid August 19.

7 years 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️. Ex refused to sign for a long time - it was done on the basis of 2 years separation and to do it without his cooperation I needed to refile as unreasonable behaviour or (eventually) 5 years separation which would have cost extra that I either didn’t have or didn’t want to spend. Finally he agreed and signed just before my new baby (not with him!) was born.

28 weeks from sending the £500 divorce fee to the government, to the day of receiving the equity release from the jointly owned property.

All done during covid (starting in May 2020).

No solicitors.

No bullshit.

I pulled the rug from DH. Absolutely no point in hanging around, causing chaos, we knew what we wanted.

filed nov 2018, absolute granted nov 2020.
court for kids and finance, covid slowed it down....cost me a fortune

I'm about to start the process he's lied in mediation and now is refusing to continue with it. How much is a fortune I've got £3,000

@Chattycatty ...
Um...over £20k for me 🤷‍♀️
But I didn't do mediation for DV reasons.
He wasn't represented so cost him 0.

I could have got a much better deal if I kept fighting, I came out with peace of mind for my kiddies

@justanotherkid going to court for everything here too. What "custody" arrangements did you get and was he violent towards the kids or just you?

@superwoman232
We eventually agreed out of court but continued to court to get an official CAO stamped.
He wanted custody but not of all our children.
I offered 50/50...he declined.
We agreed 70/30 if them all in the end, but not together as he can't manage them.
Yes he was violent to them - and has a criminal record as a result.
Him admitting he 'could not cope with them together' is the reason I stopped fighting when I did, but it does mean my kids are not together a lot.

Because of his violence towards the kids I was given sole custody and he has visitation days despite having PR.

@justanotherkid wow £20,000 I have no hope. He won't want any more visitation than he has now but he will fight tooth and nail to keep what he thinks is his money.

@Chattycatty
We only went to court 3 times for money. If you are organised you can mostly do it yourself, and have a solicitor advice you as needed to keep costs down.

Ex costs were nil as I said.
My main costs were protecting the kids.
Good luck. Loads of advice here and on the web.

@justanotherkid thank you I think that's going to have to be the way I go. I'm sorry you had such a hard battle your children have a strong mum, best of luck to you all.

The divorce is actually the "easy" bit as long as you can settle on finances etc. However, myself and my ex cannot agree, hence the financial side has gone to court. We did not attend mediation as it was deemed unnecessary due to my ex's gaslighting and financially controlling behaviour. I did the first two FDAs myself and have only just formally gone on the record with a solicitor and have a barrister. I should add that the first FDA was postponed by 2 days and the second FDA nearly got cancelled and rescheduled. If I had, had a barrister for these hearings and things had turned out differently I obviously would have lost my barrister fees...!

Date of petition: December 2018
Decree Nisi announced: June 2019
Form A issued: May 2020
First Appointment: September 2020
Second First Appointment December 2020 (as Court lost my paperwork)
FDR: Next week
Final Hearing: ?

About 6 ½ years. Making it slow and expensive was his last opportunity to control me.

I focussed on getting a separation agreement in place so it really didnt matter that much.

No shared assets, no shared debts, no kids.

6 months from petition to absolute, he paid the court costs, I paid a solicitor £50 to witness my signature on the documents.