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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

agreed on divorce and really scared - need help, please

8 replies

Awakening · 16/01/2021 21:37

Hello,
I am desperate for help as I am all alone in my situation :(
We have just agreed on divorcing (after quite some time) and my husband wants to put me on the housing register. Is that okay to do so? Months ago I registered my rights to the matrimonial house we're living in. Short info: mortgage and deeds are on his name only (of course, that was easier and faster for him he said); he's been working (nights), I've been a housewife + mum (2 girls: 1 in primary school + 1 in secondary); I am foreign and have got the right to remain;... I've got no money, no family or friends in the country, no one to ask help from. (In-laws are hours away, too. I don't know how they'll react for the news) I've been isolated for 15 years - so I am worried about my chances to get a job, esp. in current world; even though I am well educated. I can't afford a family laywer but I need help, advice - I wouldn't like to be tricked...
I am scared and wouldn't like to get into trouble in any way. I thought we'd file for a divorce and I can stay in the house till the end of it - then we need to sort out whatever is agreed on during the process / or the court would say... (I don't want him alone to decide about me, and what/how I can get)
He keeps saying I need to remove my registered right on the house so he can sell it - but that is exactly the point, isn't it? Generally, I think he tries to be clever and thinks for himself mainly, but I also need to start over a whole life with my girls - as we agree on that part.
What do I do? Please, could someone give me any advice? What are my chances? Am I eligible for free legal advice? (it is not clear for me, we are not receiving benefits...)

OP posts:
WhateverJudy · 16/01/2021 21:49

Do not sign ANYTHING without legal advice. He sounds like he is looking for a way to make sure you get nothing.

Awakening · 17/01/2021 09:04

I'm thinking that way, too.Thanks, WhateverJudy.

OP posts:
noideawhatusernametochoose · 17/01/2021 15:25

A lot of solicitors will do an initial short consultation free and some will do a longer one for a small fixed fee. You absolutely need some advice here . Definitely definitely don't sign anything at this stage.
Good luck :)

Awakening · 17/01/2021 21:40

Thank you

OP posts:
blackcurrantjam · 17/01/2021 22:06

Listen to what your intuition/instinct, whatever it is, is telling you :) DO NOT leave the house, get legal advice, free half hour, do you have any access to money you can move? Half of a joint acc? Tescos give cashback and it doesn't show up on statements, you could save/collect and pay for an actual hour with a lawyer. Self repping in court is possible. Widen your support system too. Helplines even..
You are totally right when you say you don't want to be tricked SmileFlowers

Meeeh · 17/01/2021 22:52

Speak to a women’s aid organisation- pretty sure you can get help with legal stuff for free if you have no money

Awakening · 18/01/2021 07:26

thanks a lot Meeeh

OP posts:
NiceandCalm · 18/01/2021 16:46

I don't think he has a leg to stand on and he knows it. As you are married, you are entitled to a claim on the property anyway. You don't need to 'give up' your rights to the matrimonial home and certainly don't sign anything. He's having a laugh! You do this if and when you decide/agree via a solicitor. I doubt you would get on any council housing register - you have to be virtually homeless and you're not. You have the kids so could stay in the home until they leave F/T education.
Definitely get legal advice and stonewall him if you have to, if he keeps on at you. Start having a look at all legal paperwork/bank statement etc - get copies - take a photo on your phone and put in a 'secure' folder.

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