Where to start, apologies this will be long...
DB has been psychologically and emotionally abused by his alcoholic and and mentally unstable wife for many years. Much of it happening in front of their DC. None of it I knew about, apart from she became unpleasant after a couple of drinks.
He had been isolated and controlled to such extent that the only people who knew the whole scale of her drinking were her family. He was 'not allowed' to discuss their problems with me or any one else. At no point did her family advise him to leave or protect himself/the DC. It was all about trying to get help for her.
Out of sheer desperation he made voice recordings of her drunken screaming and ranting abuse; many of which the DC can be heard in the background. In all of them he is begging her to get help and to think of the DC. there are over 50 recordings all of which I have heard and frankly it is heartbreaking.
His solicitor has copies.
In December he understandably had a breakdown; his wife was literally drinking vodka all day, he was trying to protect and care for the DC, work and seek help for her. All help she refused, despite ending up in hospital several times, police being called to pick her up off the street and DB pleading with various MH agencies. All whilst being abused himself.
Out of the blue I had a call to go and get him. His wife had locked him out of the house, thrown all his belongings in the road and was basically drinking herself to death.
He had been staying with his in-laws for a few weeks alongside his DC to try and keep them safe but when he shared that the marriage couldn't continue they threw him out there and then; 1 week before Xmas.
I found him in a dreadful state, a husk of a man and terrified of his wife and her parents.
He has been with me since; he has nowhere else to go. An interim residency order was put in place for the DC to stay with GPs but what is clear now is that they are in complete denial about their daughter's drinking and are not safeguarding the children properly. She has a prohibitive steps order against her but from what the DC let slip, she takes them out unsupervised.
His wife continues to drink and leave abusive messages with DB. She has made up dreadful lies about him and continues to psychologically abuse their DC. When the DC were with us after Xmas she bombarded their 10yo with calls. There are many voice mails of her slurring, shouting, accusing their DD of deserting her "just like your father". When I reported the calls to SS I was just told to inform CAFCASS (who helpfully were shutdown for 2 weeks).
Even worse when I alerted the grand parents about what was happening, they denied she was still drinking!
We are now trying to support DB in getting residency of his DC but the interim CAFCASS report is back and isn't worth the paper it's written on.
His wife and her parents have clearly colluded to present picture that all is in hand and improving. It 100% isn't but
CAFCASS seems so prejudiced in its view towards father's its staggering.
Their safeguarding report has literally ignored all of DB's reports of past and ongoing abuse, the continued drinking and risk to the DC.
The next hearing is imminent and DB is petrified that not only will he lose his DC but that something awful will happen to them either directly at his wife's hands or the negligence of the GPs.
I could weep; the system in this country is so skewed he doesn't stand a chance. The 10yo is being so damaged and having her head filled with such venom, she refused to see DB this weekend; he was heartbroken. We live 3 hours from their home town he only sees the DC EOW.
It makes me rage to think that if this was an abused woman facing systematic alienation from her DC every agency would be supporting her.
I'm sorry this is so long; I can't quite believe this is happening. DB has always been such a gentle soul; all he ever wanted was his own family and has been an amazing father.