Almost divorced - he's now changed his mind on equity split from house sale

[Emmylou22]

Hi all

I'm looking for a bit of personal experience stories and also a view on what people think is reasonable.

I split with husband 3.5 years ago. I moved out of the house we jointly own and have been renting since then. I wanted to sell the house / have him buy me out when I left but he has played the victim since then and came up with a hundred excuses as to why he needed more time.

He has paid the mortgage in full since I left. We had been in agreement the equity would be split equally apart from whatever capital he'd paid off since I left. Since I moved out he has paid off 4k from the equity. So I said to deduct the 4k then divide the rest by two.

He's now desperate to sort the financial agreement and get divorced (it's at decree nisi stage and I'm the applicant) so he can marry someone else. He now says he wants 30k from the sale and I should only get 8k. He bases this on the fact he's paid 12k towards the mortgage since I moved out and believes he should get all that money back. Forgetting that most of that 12k was interest and only 4k was capital. And that I've paid out thousands in rent because he has deliberate dragged out the sale of the house.

If I now get a solicitor to contest this for me, what are they likely to think is reasonable?

I should also add we have shared custody of our daughter but he's never paid a penny in maintenance despite me paying for everything she needs.

Thanks in advance for your advice!

I'm a bit confused.
What was the value of the house when you split and what is the value now?

Pay nothing, get legal advice. If you're not paying the mortgage and he's not suppporting his child it's likely a wash 🤷‍♀️

Sounds like you're hugely being taken advantage of ..

I don't know the value when we split as we didn't get it valued. Does that matter?

Right now the lump sum we'll get from the sale is £38k ish (after the mortgage is paid off and after fees). The capital he's paid off since I left is only 4k. Yet he thinks because he's paid 12k worth of mortgage payments (capital and interest) and he has lived there longer than me, I should only get 8k while he gets 30k. All the while I've had to pay thousands in rent because he deliberately slowed down the house sale so I haven't been able to buy anywhere.

Yes I think you're right LaurieFairyCake. Because I'm the one who ended the marriage he has consistently played the victim and walked all over me when it comes to money.

I would just be blunt with him. ‘Look, If I go to a solicitor the most likely outcome is that I will be awarded more than half of the 38k considering you’ve not paid any child maintenance over the last 3 years. I know you want to settle this soon so you can marry. I’ll accept half of the 34k (which is minus the 4K you’ve paid since we split) or I can go ahead and instruct a solicitor. I’ll leave it up to you to decide’ and then stick firm. He’s being a dick

I was advised that it doesn’t always matter who’s paid the mortgage, especially if you’re renting. Basically, you still own half that house, so he’s paying your half of the mortgage in lieu of paying you rent for your half (& you paying half the mortgage). It cancels out. This is especially important if you’re renting, as your equity is tied up in the house, preventing you from investing it in anything else or growing more equity of your own. You’ve been trying to get it sorted, so it’s not like you’ve suddenly reappeared a decade later demanding half “his” house or anything.

Obviously splits aren’t that simple, and it really depends on need. But as a starting point, I’d say 50/50 still stands.

Thank you Thriwit and Herman. The more I reflect on it, the more I realise I have been more than reasonable with my original offer. I want to buy a house with my new partner but have been unable to because my money is tied up in the house, which he has continuously prevented from being sold. When the gov announced the stamp duty holiday I specifically told him I wanted to buy and take advantage of it. He dragged his heels for months before eventually agreeing to the house being sold. So when I can eventually buy I'll have missed out on that holiday and will have to pay thousands in stamp duty. So his actions have cost me that in addition to the rent I pay.

I'm going to have an initial consultation with a solicitor and see what my options are.