Advice

[Mupp64]

I got divorced 25 years ago - I was marrying for 10years - stupidly and for my sanity ( lots of physical & verbal abuse) - I agreed to a DIY divorce and there was no financial settlement- I just left the martial home despite us both buying the house together - there were no children- thank gawd and I just wanted out as the violence increased
Over the years, as I've " recovered and thanked my lucky stars " I have resented that I left without anything, or at least my share of the equity of our home
My ex still lives in the property, he isn't married nor am I - we bought the house for a song, despite being in London's green belt
Im wondering if I can still put a legal charge on the property after all this time - I've read about filing out a HR 1 form with the land registry - has anyone else done this or has experience - or do I seek legal advice as I don't want to pay a solicitor if the timeframe is past -

I think you've got a very good chance of getting half the assets now but you need legal advice

You may get half of the value the house increased during your 10 year marriage.

I disagree
While you can still put a claim fir financial settlement and may get some award I don’t think it will be half equity now
Divorce looks at need and setting each party in equal footing to independence
You didn’t have children
You were not financially disadvantaged as in gave up career to look after children, you’ve had many more years to build up your own assets ( which by the way he’d have a claim on)

Be realistic about your aims ( balanced outcome) and costs

You could be entitled to what you put in while you was there, but any financial gains after you left should be his.

I also feel morally that this is wrong. You've left it too long to now come penny pinching at his assets. What if he doesn't have the means to give you the financial settlement that you're entitled to? This could mean forcing him into selling his home that he has made for himself after all these years, and I think that's harsh. Think how you would feel if it was the other way around.

Also flip it on its head. He would also be entitled to anything you had during that time, such as your earnings/savings/pension contributions. It works both ways.

I come at this as a person who also did the same as you, and 8 years later my ex came after my NHS pension. Thankfully as he hadnt payed any child support nothing came of it, but I was really shocked and hurt that someone could come out of the woodwork after all that time just because they felt "entitled".

The OP walked away and left him in the marital home. Why should he alone benefit in the increase in equity over 25 years? It's the OP's asset too!

Many solicitors will some short initial advice free of charge. I think it'd be worth arranging to see one, you can then find out if it's possible to pursue before you commit finances to doing so.
If you never did get a financial settlement and it is jointly owned then surely you are still one of the owners - or did you transfer it into his sole name?
Either way, I'd make an appointment and find out what your options are.

I assume that the house is still in joint names? If so that is a big help.

Yours is a different case to a couple splitting assets but not getting a consent order. The boss of Eco energy was such a lesson. He and his wife split many years before he set up the company. He couldn't prove there had been a consent order granted and he had to lay out a six figure same. Yours is a case whereby the assets have never been dealt with, especially if the house is owned jointly.

Be aware though that once you get into this, all assets will be brought into play including pensions. Clearly complex as many years have passed since you divorced.

Having said all that, you must take some legal advice as if nothing else, even if there isn't a financial settlement and exchange of money, getting a consent order is important as he could equally claim off you, especially.y if an inheritance were to be received.

There are a couple of family lawyers who often give advice and I suspect they will advise this and ultimately not to reply on largely uninformed opinion as opposed to expert advice

Good luck and let us know how you go

I did that in my 2nd marriage - DIY divorce - no kids involved - just walked away. He was emotionally abusive and my sanity was worth far more than money at that point. Yes I was stupid but desperate for a clean break. At the time the equity wasn't huge. Was this the case for you? Surely any legal right would be based on the value at the time, not now.

Thank you for all your posts
However after digging up my " divorce papers" it turns out I'm not officially divorced - back in 2003 we were both sent the Decree Nisi and never followed up the Decree absolute- our relationship was as toxic at this time and I was in hiding - so neither one of us applied - so technically it's back to the divorce proceedings and the financial consent order for us both - I'm not interested in pensions/money or anything acquired after the marriage - I will base my entitlement from when we bought the house to when we initiated the divorce - however he is so angry and being aggressive ( he obviously hasn't changed ) and is refusing to accept that we need to sort this out and the mention of me receiving any money from the equity of the house - 1991-2003 when I left - a financial settlement- well he's exploding with fury
I am not playing ball with a bully anymore - I can't talk to him as he loses it - so I have decided to put a HR 1 form on the house - so it's registered with the Land registry - and he cannot do anything with the martial home without me knowing- officially we are still married and he is well aware of the consequences of this - I have no desire to remarry but I know he wants to - I'll play the waiting game
Money isn't driving me - I'm paying back the years of shit I put up with - being stupid, young and naive