Separating - who pays for extra accommodation

[Libertylevel]

NC as very outing but been around since ‘boil in the vag’ (which still makes me laugh.)

Married with a 1yo and 4yo. Am separating with husband due to his mental health, drink, drugs and using prostitutes.

I feel he should move out as it’s his unreasonable behaviour. He can afford it. We currently pay the bills and mortgage equally. He wants me to contribute to his new accommodation or lower what he pays on the mortgage and bills. How do I resolve this? What have others done? Many thanks for ideas.

When I separated from my ex husband he stopped paying any off my bills or the mortgage as that seemed fair to me since he wasn't going to living their anymore. When it came to the divorce he had a smaller claim on the house as he hadn't been contributing which also seemed fair.

He has a right to stay as its his home as well.
He would therefore not be expected to pay for the family home as well as the new accommodation.

His suggestion isn’t wrong

He's agreed to go hasn't he. He could dig his heels in and refuse to move which would be much more traumatic. His suggestion is reasonable and I would go along with it.

It's normal for the person moving out to stop paying.

When it comes to divorce the period of them not not paying will be considered when calculating split of assets.

Stop paying bills I mean.

Mortgage is a little different, however a lower payment would be fair.

Thanks all - even though it’s his unreasonable behaviour and a safeguarding issue for the children that he can’t be in the house?

Legally makes no difference

The reasons make no difference. He pays his bills you pay yours and he pays child support.

Well he can't just move out and keep paying what he's paying for and then live on the streets. You need to work out the money before he leaves.

He moves out and stops paying for your bills

He then pays child maintenance (assuming he's working) and you claim child benefit and universal credit if you are eligible

I'd contact your mortgage provider and tell them the situation -they may allow a switch to interest only while you resolve the issue of home ownership and it stops either party extending the mortgage or taking on additional borrowing

I know it seems harsh but if he moves out he needs to pay for where he'll be living and you need to pay where you are. If that isn't affordable you'll have to look at putting the house on the market and coming to an agreement with him before it sells.

Yes he is right though if he is not having the kids 50/50 he also needs to give some reasonable child support to you. If you can't afford the house is it time to sell and see if you can get a cheaper place?

His behaviour is irrelevant. If there are real issues re safeguarding, as in you think your children are unsafe around him, you need to contact SS and a solicitor.

Otherwise he should move out and pay for his own accommodation. He does not pay to house you until something legal is put in place, and even then it's unlikely he will need to pay more than child maintenance. It's all dependent on his income though, so that's for a judge to decide, but it's unusual to pay towards a house, although child maintenance may cover precious input.

You need to see a solicitor

I would imagine to an extent it depends on whether either of you can afford for him to live elsewhere. Are you able to manage financial without his contributions to the mortgage and/or bills? And would he be able to afford somewhere else? No point in being unrealistic about it. But it makes sense that he would contribute less to the house that he would not live in to enable him to pay for housing elsewhere. But you need to be sure you can continue to be able to afford to provide for the children if he did this. Obviously he should be contributing to the financial care of his children.
I know several couples who have stayed living together for years after separation as they cannot afford to live in two houses.

He can’t be expected to pay all his usual bits on the family home and pay rent and bills elsewhere and pay cms. You’re being Unrealistic ( unless multi millionaire or something)
Many couple stay in the same house while divorcing fir this reason

If he has to move out he stops paying bills and either

1 pays his half of the mortgage to keep the same equity as you

2 stops paying his half of the mortgage and gets a lower equity value than you

It doesn't work like that op.

You're entitled to 50% equity on the house if you sell it, plus child maintenance.

He is not obligated to pay for both properties.

She’s not entitled to 50%
She’s entitled to a fair share
That could be more or less than 50%

Op I've got one who is currently refusing to move out. I've only told hi tonight though after his own misgivings not dissimilar to yours I have to say.

We also pay an equal share each of bills even though he's on a lot more than me (I did this deliberately so that if anything went tits up I wouldn't be relying on him)

I've sat tonight and worked out the bills for the house and my car and insurances etc and then his personal bits that come out of joint.
I've re adjusted my household budget accordingly.

My earnings still won't cover everything especially as I'm on 80% furlough but I've been into entitled to this evening and can claim abit that helps cover the rest with a bit of breathing space.

Who was the higher earner op?
I'm thanking my lucky stars I didn't take him up on the short lived guilt offer of paying more towards bills when my wages dropped.

Il actually save money because he drains pretty much everything including bank accounts and I always then end up using my money or little I have left to prop us up til pay day again.

Youl probably find your better off and not just in a financial way op

He doesn't even need to contribute towards the house anymore if he moves out