Well I don’t really know where to go or even ask about this, and maybe someone has been through this and might be able to help or at least shine some light on the situation
Me and my wife have been married for 7 years and adopted two kids who are 12 and 10.
Since the kids came along my wife has found it difficult to the point where she is always shouting at them and me and basically enough is enough.
She is the one asking for a divorce and to be fair the past few years have been an emotional wreak where I’m not allowed to talk to anyone otherwise I’m “cheating” and every question she asks I have to answer the correct answer or she will punish emontionally me for days
To the point where I now don’t have any friends as she pushed them all away and even work colleagues my relationship doesn’t really stretch to friends because of her.
Anyway besides the point, me and the kids want to live together without her, and I think I’ve just finally realised now she’s asking for a divorce how unhappy I’ve been so I agreed and said fine.
So besides not talking to me for the past 5 weeks it’s time I or her moved out and sorted this out, this includes the kids too, who are very upset by her ignoring them despite us all being under the same roof (separate rooms now)
Basically I just don’t know what my options are, financially I have always paid for everything, and put an extra £400 a month into her account to support her business.
I have supported her business ventures for 7 years and she hasn’t contributed nothing financially and has racked up £15000 debt without me knowing too.
The house is in my name (bought before we met) we both work, although I have tried to ask her to get an actual job that pays many times as I’ve been stuck in 2 jobs I hate to pay the bills
The way forward is sell the house and leave her to her own devices whatever she chooses, but do I still have to pay maintenance to her? Who gets the house money?
I’m loathed to give her anything as I’m now a single dad with two kids and need to quit one job and juggle work plus kids while still putting a roof over our heads and that I think I can do, but if she’s able to claim the house or maintenance I’m not sure what I can do financially while still providing for the three of us.
Does mediation take into account financial input? Ie me paying everything? When dividing assets?
Also with custody or care of children and to keep a job I’d have to have childcare / babysitters during the school holidays would that effect the kids being able to live with me... I’m just worried that once the ball starts getting rolling maybe she will realise and start fighting for the kids just to get maintenance.
I really screwed up when I said I do sad I regret so much, maybe I just need to vent, it just seems impossible.
Any help appreciated