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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Ex husband demanding money post divorce

19 replies

WhiteWriting · 08/01/2021 09:13

Hello,

I posted this over in legal but wondered if anyone had experience of dealing with post divorce financial demands?

I am desperate for some advice after my long and drawn out divorce (secret affair and child/financial hearings) has left me financially and emotionally broken.

The judge sealed the consent order in August. My ex did not meet the deadlines set for transfer of funds but eventually the money promised arrived and I moved out of our former home, buying my own place, in November.

I thought all was well but I have received letters from his lawyer demanding I pay invoices totally hundreds of pounds for gardeners and cleaners.

The consent order stated the house be left clean and tidy. Nothing more. No professional cleaning was agreed. No carpet cleaning. No oven clean etc. The large garden was tidy bar for one unused vegetable plot. No work on my part was discussed/agreed.

My ex had abandoned me to the sole upkeep of both in the preceeding two years with no practical or financial assistance.

So, my question is - what is my legal position here? The house is now up for sale and he is clearly trying to maximise his profits and get me to pay for the work. Is this something I should be worried about? Would a judge even entertain his petty demands after the event?

Many thanks for any replies. I am losing sleep over this.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteWriting · 08/01/2021 18:57

anyone? If you have had similar tales of post divorce woe I would be very grateful to hear them!

Lockdown alone is magnifying my fears of having to go back to court again.

OP posts:
Tempusfudgeit · 08/01/2021 19:02

Ignore it. You've fulfilled the order. He's just trying it on.

Original poster
WhiteWriting · 08/01/2021 19:19

thankyou for your reply.

His lawyer says the 'clean and tidy' clause has been breached and this is serious!

OP posts:
Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool · 08/01/2021 19:21

Lawyers write whatever their client requests. . My exh wrote some ridiculous things...
All laughed out of court...

GemmeFatale · 08/01/2021 20:01

Send back a few invoices to his lawyer. It will cost him to have them read them and email him.

StephenBelafonte · 08/01/2021 20:06

Was it you that organised for cleaners and gardeners to come in?

Original poster
WhiteWriting · 08/01/2021 20:20

No - he bought me out of the family home and I moved house in Nov. Then I got a letter from his lawyer who is the most vile woman I have (never) met saying that the house was unkempt showing photos of an overgrown corner of a perfectly fine garden and an unused bathroom with some mould in the shower.He had quotes for work and demanded I pay for it. I replied no way and heard nothing back for five weeks and now a further letter in exactly the same vein - this time with invoices!

He is acting like a landlord at the end of a tenancy. Yes the house had 12 years of wear and tear. Not to drip feed but I have been really ill and manging all this house and garden alone with no financial or practical help has been awful.

Now he sweeps back in, two miles down the road from my new house, and starts shouting the odds.

Do I call his bluff and say see you in court?

OP posts:
middleeasternpromise · 08/01/2021 20:35

It sounds like another form of staying in control. Is he loaded and can he afford to take you to court over this? Some gardening and mould cleaning would hardly match the cost of pursuing it. I would be tempted to ignore and leave them to figure out if they want make it formal. You say he didn't comply with the consent order in a timely manner for you - have you costed what you lost by waiting on the money to come through? I would get ready to offset any silly claims. Do you have children with this person?

nearlynermal · 08/01/2021 20:43

I agree with the pp about doing everything you can to run up his legal costs with the lawyer. Supplying lengthy responses, asking for further detail etc.

Original poster
WhiteWriting · 08/01/2021 20:44

No children - well he has now! - that's a really good point about my costs incurred from his not meeting court set deadlines. That was set in stone and I didn't make a fuss or send legal letters. I can't imagine that will play well for him if we end up back in court.

In the pandemic, with everything virtual, I don't imagine this kind of thing is a court priority? Does anyone know if they have to entertain all applications?

OP posts:
StephenBelafonte · 08/01/2021 20:51

I wouldn't worry about it no. Like a PP says, a solicitor acts on behalf of their client so she is just sending the letters out that he asks her to send. Let him bloody do all the work involved in presenting it to prospective buyers, you've done it for 2 years now!

Original poster
WhiteWriting · 08/01/2021 21:16

Yes - why should I be paying to maximise his profits? I hope karma means the house doesn't sell before stamp duty kicks in!

Or lockdown means no one is buying.

Or he catches knob rot.

OP posts:
Palaver1 · 09/01/2021 08:09

Write back to the lawyer what’s been suggested.
Ignore after that let him take you to wherever he wants to

Palaver1 · 09/01/2021 08:12

The lawyer might be vile but it’s a job .
lawyers that are worth anything give clients good advice and also know when to tell their clients to stop.
Some don’t because of the money they charge.

Belinda554 · 09/01/2021 08:18

Send plenty of emails to his lawyer, plenty. As PP stated, it costs him for them to be read🙂 It usually costs more for her to send letters, therefore maybe you would prefer all future correspondence to be be via post?
Explain that you have fully complied. The garden area is wildlife area.

Did you photograph everything before you left?

Original poster
WhiteWriting · 09/01/2021 15:56

Hi everyone,

yes - I photographed the garden in high summer as we were going to sell it potentially then. It shows how nice it was so obviously it wouldn't be a dump five months later.

I took a photo of each room on moving day but they aren't super detailed. They show empty/tidy/devoid of rubbish house but not things like the inside of oven or loos.

The exact wording of the consent order is simply 'leave property clean and tidy'.

As no third party checked this it is simply my word against his really. His blurry photos of a damp wardrobe and unweeded veg patch were as they were when he left me.

OP posts:
noideawhatusernametochoose · 10/01/2021 15:07

If you've got photos why not write to his lawyer explaining you are not liable for these costs, and explain that you have a set of photographs which show that you left the property and garden in a clean and tidy state. (maybe don't send the photos there and then, keep your powder dry so to speak)?

Lorry123 · 10/01/2021 16:10

Sounds like your ex is using the same vile solicitor as my ex - he gets her to send all sorts of ridiculous nonsense to me ranging from telling me he doesn’t give his permission for our secondary school DCs to walk back to my house after school during my parenting time because he thinks i live in a dangerous areas to charging me for subs for cricket (£20). I send my replies directly back to her happy in the knowledge that he is paying her upwards of £200 ph whereas I am incurring nothing. Is your ex controlling? This could just be a ploy to keep you engaged and for him to keep hold over you. I’d ignore it - it will cost him way more in letters than the amount he is trying to recover

SophieTurnersEyebrows · 10/01/2021 16:29

Can you collate every invoice for any work you paid for prior to moving out and and say you'll set off what he's claiming against his half share of what you had to pay...?

And yy to sending to his lawyer so she can charge him for reading them and forwarding to him!

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